The Love is GONE!

“I'm about to make a wild, extreme and severe relationship rule: the word busy is a load of crap and is most often used by assholes. The word "busy" is the relationship Weapon of Mass Destruction. It seems like a good excuse, but in fact in every silo you uncover, all you're going to find is a man who didn't care enough to call. Remember men are never to busy to get what they want.”
― Greg Behrendt

I am not writing this blog to place blame for any current events that have befallen any of my wonderful friends (such as Ms. K or Ms. M).  I have noticed a pattern, that I have been guilty of, women staying with men that clearly have no interest in them.  I would like to clearly state here that some women think that their man is a unique snowflake and that I do not know all the facts of their very complex situation BUT I have to say this is just an excuse.  ALL MEN regardless of how they express it act like they are interested. The phenomenon of women staying with men that do not act like they want to be with them is very odd and creates a lot of hostility. From my personal experience and what I have witnessed the pattern is: He treats her poorly (perhaps a tactic to get rid of her), A HUGE FIGHT ensues (she threatens to break up with him for good this time), He does absolutely nothing (or the very bare minimum) to remedy the situation, they stay together because for some reason this is love....(shaking my head). This is not even the sad part. THE SAD PART is when asked "Why do you stay with him?" or "What are you getting out of this?" etc. These women are left somewhat speechless. They all seem to offer up some half assed excuse that the two people in this equation love one another. This is not true. The following are three signs your man has fallen out of love with you:

“If he’s not calling you, it’s because you are not on his mind. If he creates expectations for you, and then doesn’t follow through on little things, he will do same for big things. Be aware of this and realize that he’s okay with disappointing you. Don’t be with someone who doesn’t do what they say they’re going to do. If he’s choosing not to make a simple effort that would put you at ease and bring harmony to a recurring fight, then he doesn’t respect your feelings and needs. “Busy” is another word for “asshole.” “Asshole” is another word for the guy you’re dating. You deserve a fcking phone call.”
― Greg Behrendt

1) He doesn't call. (Insert romantic, dramatic sigh) Remember the good old days when he put in a phone call, text, letter and it was so thoughtful and frequent? It seems everyone is trying to get back to some point previously in their life instead of embracing the future and their current moment. I am not sure why people think that going backwards is progress but it is not. In this mentality my friends often say "I wish that it was like in the beginning when he used to call..." First of all, you have let him get away with treating you a way that makes you unhappy.  YOU have failed yourself in this relationship! Men treat you the way you let them treat you period. The truth is that there are men out there that will take you to hell and back if you let them (I would know I have been there a few times). BUT! These men can only do what you let them. If YOU  accept that your boyfriend never calls when he says he will, or never returns your calls or just in general just acts like he doesn't give a f*ck, then in all likelihood he IS NOT INTO YOU. If you are constantly putting effort in and calling and forcing him into talking you when it is pretty obvious that he does not want to talk to you...by his not calling and engaging.  Why are you acting so desperate? Think about it. When you care for someone you put effort in. This does not change whether you have penis or not. Secondly, why are you trying to go back in time?  Going back is not progressive, going back is not growth.  If your current moment is so terrible than try living in that moment! Realize “Hey, this sucks, I am out”  You are not doing yourself any favors attempting to go back and make your boyfriend act the way he use to when he cared about you.  I am sorry, but his feelings have changed, and thus so have his actions.  THERE IS NO GOING BACK.

“It's very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less -- even a vague pathetic facsimile of less -- than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get and please don't settle for less. These guys exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to.”
― Greg Behrendt

2) He acts nonchalant. If you are finding that you are making all the plans and thinking for your boyfriend than he is NOT INTO YOU. Seriously some people may be reading this and thinking who would not get these signs, trust me A LOT of people don't get it. It is hard to understand falling out of love. It is hard to lose someone. It is very hard all around to love. This is true. But, it is apparently not hard to be foolish. Give your head a shake. I do not want to hear ever again that men are more complex than this, if a man is acting like he does not care about you, then GUESS WHAT?? He does not care about you. I have heard so many excuses from he is stressed, etc., but these problems are not for women to sift through as to why they are being treated like sh*t. No. Straight up. If you are chasing your man all over and he is really acting like he doesn't care than he he doesn't care. Why? You may ask does he stay with you. A better question is: have you given him any other option but to stay with you? If you have been calling, chasing, nagging and pretty much forcing someone to be with you than it is no wonder they are aloof and yes in a dream world they would let you down easy and walk away but some men are lazy and it is easier to stay with you than to try and break up with you.   Perhaps he even still says he loves you, or that he misses you, all of this is so nice to hear but that does not make it true.  (Saying "I love you" can be the easiest way to avoid confrontation). Perhaps they are not sure what they want, but while they do not want to be with you they still care about you so they just keep you on the back burner.  Perhaps their love has turned cold but they are equally finding it hard to let go, you can literally insert a million perhaps excuses here but at the end of the day it all boils down to they do not care like they use to.  It is so mind blowing that we live in a society where women do not believe it is over until we are completely dumped and will therefore put up with a smorgasbord of douchery because we think that there is still hope.  It is over for him if he has given up and you are creating a relationship for him that he is not participating in.


“We have become a sloppy bunch of people. We say things we don't mean. We make promises we don't keep. "I'll call you." "Let's get together." We know we won't. On the Human Interaction Stock Exchange, our words have lost almost all their value. And the spiral continues, as we now don't even expect people to keep their word; in fact we might even be embarrassed to point out to the dirty liar that they never did what they said they'd do. So if a guy you're dating doesn't call when he says he's doing to, why should that be such a big deal? Because you should be dating a man who's at least as good as his word.”
― Greg Behrendt

3) He agrees you should break up. Do you know what men do when they want to be dating? They don't agree a break up is best. Some people believe that it is only possible to understand how much someone cares for them if they are breaking up, because then the person will figure out how great they are. Newsflash! If someone thinks you are great when they are with you than they will not want to break up. It is a very juvenile mentality to think that breakups will improve your relationship. Once again for the record: Your life is not a Hollywood movie. In reality if you break up with someone then you are done. They do not have a revelation that you were the most perfect being and come crawling back. Another NEWSFLASH: if you want this instead of a healthy partner you may want to get your head examined. Love is pure and easy you should never have to force it with drama.  Also, if you are constantly "breaking up" and never actually standing your ground than it is no wonder your boyfriend doesn't give two f*cks when you tell him it is over. He has heard it a million times and truth be told he probably would actually enjoy it being over to get done with all the drama of your relationship. How would you feel if every day I came to your house at 5 am and told you I was going to do something unpleasant, you would eventually yell out "JUST DO IT ALREADY AND BE DONE WITH IT!" It is no wonder he is agreeing. He wants to break up and you have told him you want to so many times that you should probably just break up if you both think it is such a great idea.  Truth be told you planted the break up seed, you watered frivolously and then you are surprised (and hurt) that he wants to see this damn plant bloom already.  See your part in his feelings changings, you contributed to this fall out and now he is done.

I am so tired of hearing excuses by women to keep men. They think for them. Act for them. They are in a one sided affair and they know it but will never admit it. One the flip side I am so tired that men are too lazy to say that they are done and stand firm. Instead they treat their women like garbage and don't care what happens. It is a sad reality that comes from desperation. Desperation to be loved. Desperation to lose. It is terrible to watch your friends being pathetic in the name of love you want them to wake up and realize that he is just not into you.  But, change only comes from self-actualization that you are trapping someone into being with you because you don’t want to let them go.  If you are thinking it is not fair and I don’t get it than you are probably in one of these situations and I am sorry, it is hard to realize that someone does not love you anymore, it is even harder to realize that feeling will never come back.  But, it is unhealthy to stay in a toxic fueled drama you label love because you are to self-focused to realize it is over.   (I have been this person, I have lived this situation, I have forced my love on others, and I am telling you it does not work.  Sometimes you cannot fix what is broken, it is broken not to be repaired but to grow into a new direction).  Thanks for reading! XO

Ain't No Sunshine

“You should always treat people with kindness”

-My dad on how to treat others

Life is a lot of things.  Fair is not usually one of its defining characteristics.  My father has been ill for a long time.  He struggles with an intense muscle degenerating disease that is very unknown in both society and the medical world called Inclusion Body Mitosis (IBM).  Yesterday he informed me that he has put a hospital bed in his room and it hit me.  Not the realization he is dying, we are all dying, he has been sick for over 15 years I have had time to come to terms with the reality of the end of his life.  But, that everything is different now.  What I mean is for the first time in my life my mother and father will be sleeping in separate beds.  Then I realized that once he has passed my mother will sell the house, I can’t imagine that she will keep a spacious five bedroom place for her and her mother (my grandmother lives with my parents).  I am experiencing that strange phenomena of losing home.  It is a very difficult thing to process.  Home is always your safe haven isn’t it?  It is the place you retire to when you can’t handle the turbulence of life, it is where you go for holidays, it is your home.  But, one day you wake up and this changes.  The following are three emotions that I am feeling lately, maybe you can relate:

“That is just the way the world is.”

-My dad on the futility of questioning why things happen

1)      Unknown.  It is the strangest feeling not knowing how to feel.  Feeling happy about some aspects of life and then plagued again with stress and worry for your loved ones.  It is a wild roller coaster when you feel yourself laughing at a joke only to shortly feel guilty for feeling happy.  You feel highs that feel hallow and lows that feel surreal and all the while you realize that you are helpless to your emotions.  They are processing the information you have given them the best way they know how.  This is my rollercoaster.

“I am lucky.  Your mother takes good care of me.”

-My dad on the topic of my mom

2)      Guilt.  I have guilt that on some days I think my dad is in so much pain that death would be a relief to him.  To my mother who cries all the time.  To my sister who stays in SmallTownNowhere to help.  To my elderly grandmother who tries to help in any way she can.  To myself for having my heart stop every time I hear a new level of disintegration in his disease.  To my friends who can only watch and struggle with what support to offer.  To my hometown as the residence watch and wonder what will come next.  To everyone who is affected by strange, unknown, cruel diseases I feel your guilt.  I feel guilt for not being able to offer support in a way that will cure all that ails my family.  I feel guilty for being young, vibrant and healthy and wanting to see my dad as he once was.  I feel angry and I feel guilty and I feel sad, these are my emotions.

“You have got your university education.  No matter what happens in life, no one can take that from you.”

-My dad when I graduated

3)      Retreat.  There is a strong desire to fix what is broken isn’t there?  There is an overwhelming sense that if one returns home that it will remain frozen in time in that perfect Christmas morning memory.  There is a hope that your mere presence and wishful thinking will stop time and cure disease.  I feel an incredibly difficult sensation that living away from my family is the right thing.  It is a hard realization that living your life where you need to be is away from those who need you.  It is a devastating actuality to recognize that if you go back and live in the same house and town as your family it does nothing.  It does not stop time.  In fact it is a particularly hard thing to swallow that everyone is better and happier if you keep living your life, building you career, trying for each day instead of retreating back home.  This is my struggle.

“Oh lord it’s hard to be humble.  When your prefect in every way.”

-My dad singing what I am pretty sure is his life motto.

The truth is people tell me all the time I am so lucky to have more time with my dad and this is true.  Unfortunately this time is filled with pain, struggle, and heart ache, this is also true.  There is a numbness that washes over me most of the time, a warm comforting sensation where I can hide from the reality of feelings.  It is so nice to hide isn’t it?  Feelings give way to talking, talking gives way to hugging, hugging gives way to crying, and crying leads to breaking.  But hiding does not help heal pain.    Disease is part of life and I will not remember my father this way, I can’t.  I will always remember him sun kissed with long strawberry blond hair strong and brilliant fixing the lawn mower in the back yard.  I will remember his kindness, I will remember his will to fight, while this disease may take his body, it will never take my mind.  Thanks for listening this week to my restless demons.  XO

“Twas midnight on the ocean,

Not a street car was in sight.

The moon was shining brightly,

Because there was no sun that night.

The two dead boys got up to fight.

Back to back they faced each other,

Drew their swords and shot one another.

A deaf police man heard that noise,

He ran and shot those two dead boys.”

-My dad’s riddle.

The Upside to Breakups

“Let’s start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there’s something better out there is to first believe there’s something better out there. What other choice is there?” 
― Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You

First I would like to acknowledge that I personally am in a very healthy and happy relationship with The American.  However...

Lately I have been feeling the anxiety of all my lady friends.  The anxiety that comes from sticking it out with a man who makes you miserable.  These feelings are all too familiar to me and therefore I have decided to write this week about three fabulous upsides to walking away from your misery….or should I just say it getting rid of your man.

1)      So long everyday heart ache! I can’t tell you that break ups initially feel very good.  In fact, the opposite is true.  But, I can tell you that after the initial sting is over you will realize that sun shines a little brighter since your ex is gone.  In fact you will feel a little lighter! What is that?? That old ball and chain that was weighing you down is gone?  Congratulations you just lost (insert your Mr. X’s weight here) pounds! You have never looked better!  I can’t tell you what kind of life you are going to have post break up because I am not psychic.  However, I can tell you that you will not be miserable every day.  I can tell you that you will not have useless fights over trivial shit every day.  Lastly I can tell you that you won’t wake up anxious to the drama of the day.  You will just wake up, and you know what?  It will be a brand new day.  It will be full of potential and it will be yours.  After my last most recent break up I was recapping with a co-worker and she said this to me “Be thankful you did not marry him.”  She was completely right.  See the end is not always a bad thing!  In fact shortly after the end you will realize THANK GOODNESS you did not spend another second of your life with the person who made you unhappy every day.  The person who made you want to be single.  The person who annoyed you to no end and took you for granted.  The person who made you question your self worth and feel sub par everyday.  Quit making yourself miserable.

“I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.” - Marilyn Monroe

2)      GROW UP! SO! Interesting phenomena I witnessed on Facebook recently was people criticizing the above quote and you know what I found myself agreeing with their point of view.  Breakups teach us things we need to learn.  If you have this attitude that your good times are SO GOOD that you are therefore entitled to be a dick than you are headed for disaster.  My break up from Mr. X taught me so much about myself it was the best thing that ever happened to me.  It taught me so much about what not to have in a partner and in a relationship.  It taught me how to communicate and STAY BY WHAT I SAY in a respectful manner.  It taught me how to be happy and appreciate all the things he was lacking that I was starving for in my life.  It made me realize what I needed to change in myself.  It made me grow.  It most importantly made me grow up.  Have you ever dated someone and thought they were about as mature as a ten year old?  You know! You try and talk to them about things and they either have a tantrum, or pout, or over react, or cry and you are trapped trying to reason with some one who just doesn’t wanna! They need to grow up.  But, the truth of the matter is if you are struggling to be the only emotional mature person in your union so do you.  You need to grow up and realize you CAN’T CHANGE PEOPLE, we all grow up on our own, in fact sadly some people never do. 

“Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You are deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.” 
― Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

3)      Full potential.  I have blogged about this before that is that when you are a 1 of 2 you are always thinking for two.  I hate when I ask my girlfriend what she is doing Saturday night and she says that she has to check with her boyfriend or husband…the tragedy of when two become one.  THE GREAT NEWS IS divorce and breakups make this equation obsolete!  There is no more “checking in” there is just you and your full potential.  I think that some people are afraid to embrace this change because they view it as loneliness, or they no longer have an excuse as to their behaviours, or whatever.  EMBRACE your full potential! I did.  Since I moved to the best city for me, landed my dream job and I don’t answer to anyone I see potential like it is going out of style!  I am not saying that potential is not possible with the right partner!  What I am saying is that if your life takes off like a bat out of hell after you end your stagnant union than you were with the wrong partner.  If you feel like you have hit a rut in your life but your partner looks as happy as a pig in sh*t than I am sorry to say but you are with the wrong partner.  I refuse to hear excuses from people saying “Oh but I just need to move here (insert town you hate) and work (insert job you hate) with (insert people that treat you poorly) for four more years while my husband, wife, boyfriend, etc…”  What a joke.  No one should put their life on hold for anyone else.  AND! If you truly love someone you won’t ask them to.  Do you know I have broken up with men because I was moving away and I did not want them to leave their incredible lives where they were happy?  Yes, I have.  These relationships were fun and taught me about love but they were not meant to be.  I also knew I needed to start fresh in new places.  Break ups take us places we will never dream of with the wrong person.

“You picked a lemon, throw it away lemonade is overrated. Freaks should remain at the circus, not in your apartment. You already have one asshole. You don’t need another. Make a space in your life for the glorious things you deserve. Have faith.”
― Greg Behrendt, He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys

I don’t want to be cliché here and say the obvious that break ups lead you to your GREATEST love affiars and possibly even your soul mate.  This seems to be the focus of many women that they will have to try again with someone new.  I say LUCKY YOU!  Finding love is the fun.  Shopping around is what makes you realize what you want and DON’T WANT!  Dating is the spice of life.  If you have given up on dating than I am afraid that you have given up on yourself for too many reasons.  Lastly! Dating brings you smack dab right in front of a man who will make all other men pale in comparison.  Dating will make you realize how incredibly luckily you are when you find someone amazing.  Dating teaches you how to interact with strangers and just plain strange men.  It is all relative.  The truth is if you are afraid of breaking up because you don’t know what is on the other side, I am telling you what is on the other side is your amazing life.  Be brave enough to grab it and ride it like the wind.  Thanks for reading! XOXO

Pictures this week are women who fabulously survived heart ache and are amazing. XO

PLEASE READ: Greg Behrendt's He is Just Not That Into You: The No Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys
All other QUOTES: From GOOGLE!

3 Bullshit Lines

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

Sigh....(that is a big sigh)....so lately Ms. M has been dealing with this guy.  He gave her the old song and dance about not wanting anything serious but still wanting to hang out after playing house for the past few weeks with her and leading her on.  Then Ms. K told me about her man and his millions of excuses for his lack of action towards acting like he gives a f*ck and I have just had it with men and the bull sh*t they feed women to keep banging them.  Truth be told I am tired of hearing my girlfriend's lame excuses to believe what they know (from time and time and time...etc...)  to be nothing but empty words.  So even though at this point in time I am pretty sure my advice just falls on deaf ears and I would have more success telling my dog the reality of these things because at least he pretends to be listening...here goes.  The following are three lines that if you hear you can bank in the account of complete and utter bullsh*t.

“Above all, don't lie to yourself. The man who lies to himself and listens to his own lie comes to a point that he cannot distinguish the truth within him, or around him, and so loses all respect for himself and for others. And having no respect he ceases to love.” 
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, The Brothers Karamazov

1) "I am really not ready for anything serious but still want to hang out" - TRANSLATION:  I want to keep banging you on my terms with no commitment. SIGH!! (insert frustrated sigh with shaking head).  Here is the truth: IF A MAN WANTS TO DATE YOU HE WILL.  If he doesn't he will say this to you.  This means that while he does not view you as girlfriend material AT ALL, he is to p*ssy to man up and tell you.  He also likes getting a piece of ass whenever he fancies it and knows that if he leads you on just enough he can get that from you.  SO all of my girlfriends have whined about this to me, they all pout about a guy that they are totally into being not ready to date them.  What a load of bullshit.  They seem to be ready to have these same girls stay over night, have sex with them, text them and take them out on occasion just enough to maintain a level of the girl thinking things are going somewhere! All the while telling them things are not going anywhere.  "Hello mind games my old friend."  This may sound familiar from back in Mr. Elevator days.  He was this kind of coward.  If you don't want to date someone then don't.  Don't sneak around under the guise of dating while all the while claiming the opposite.  It is manipulative.  Here is what Ms. M said to me "It is totally fine if he just wants f*ck, but then let's just f*ck.  Don't make me dinner and take me out and introduce me to your friends."  I completely understand what she is saying.  The truth is if a man is into you he will move mountains for you, he will try and catch the moon and never make you cry.  He will not say he does not want to date you.  This means exactly what he is saying, DON'T HEAR that he likes what you have.  All that means is he likes f*cking you.  Big whoop, everyone likes that, that means nothing.  So when you hear this incredibly ridiculous line remember the translation and NEVER, EVER take it as anything more.  Men only say these things because they think that being honest will not get them what they want.

“It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.” 
― George Washington

2)  "I just got out a long term relationship" - TRANSLATION: "You are a rebound."  Sigh (insert small defeated sigh).  I don't know why when women hear this they see this man as a broken bird in need of nourishing back to health. GOOD GRIEF! This man is telling you, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO BE A LONG TERM ANYTHING.  Yet, for some reason women hear this and hear "I am need of a woman to mend my heart, change my mind about women, bring me to love again and then I will be forever grateful...blah, blah, blah..." NO.  Thank Hollywood for this delusional take on things because it is years, and years, and years, of literature, mass media, and movies that have portrayed women with broken hearts as these beautiful broken souls that need men to mend them and teach them to fall in love again THEREFORE when they hear men say the above line they think they need to fix them.  WHAT A LOUD OF BULL SH*T.  If a man is outright giving you this excuse than guess what?  You are a rebound.  This is his excuse to not finding you dateable.  I don't know why but life would just be so much easier if men did not use any excuses and just said "No thanks."  But for some reason they feel like they have to feed up an excuse to the hungry woman who lusts to be called their one and only.  The sad thing is once these utterances escape his lips he is DOOMED! he has just given the girl of his non-affection a millon and one crazy thoughts about their fling that are completely made up from her fantasies in her head AND typically in these situations the man breaks down and just ends up telling the woman he does not want anything after weeks of leading her on with using the above line as what he thought was a buffer and it is a mess.  SO ladies do yourself a favor, when a man tells you this say "Sorry to hear, when you are done rebounding you know where I am at." Stand tall sister.

“Lies and secrets, Tessa, they are like a cancer in the soul. They eat away what is good and leave only destruction behind.” 
― Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Prince

3) "I am just not sure what I want right now" - TRANSLATION: "I am sure I don't want to be dating you but I am too afraid to say so." (Insert a W.T.F laugh here).  Why do I hear this so often from my girlfriends.  Why, oh why is there so much uncertainty in the world (that is pure sarcasm F.Y.I) Let's get real for a moment.  When you meet someone and they really want to date you and you are not interested saying no can be hard because they usually do not have a positive reaction and that is hard.  BUT!! Do you know what is even harder??  Lying.  Saying that you are not sure.  If you hear this take it as he is NOT interested.  Who the hell is not sure they want to date someone?  What do they expect you to do?  Just wait around optimisitically until they are sure that they want to?  Or don't want to?  What...the...serious...f*ck....When you want to date someone you know.  PERIOD.  There is no ho-hum time period where you are able to mull things over.  No.  While you absolutely can get to know someone, that is what I strongly suggest.  BUT! at the end of the day if you don't want to date them then just say that.  If someone tells you they do not know they want to date you than move on.  Do not tell them you will wait for them EVER! This drives me SO MENTAL when my girlfriends say things like this "I told him to call me when he knew what he wanted"  or worse "I asked him if he wanted to break up and he said he was not sure so I told him that we should...."  No, no, no.  You are worth someone's 100 percent wanting to date you. The worst part is selling this "not sure" B.S around makes the my girlfriends, one in particular, fill in the blanks.  Like it is some kind of Mad Lib puzzle and saying "not sure" means that my girlfriends should make up a million excuses and put words in their men's mouths so that they stay together.  It saddens me that this is reality. The truth is if a man can't think he wants to date you than don't think for him and get out of there. Seriously.

“The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others.” 
― Friedrich Nietzsche

It may seem like I am all fired up this week and cussing like a sailor.  I am.  I am so tired of hearing the same excuses from men 20 to 40 from women 20 to 40 when all they are really trying to convey is that they are not interested.  Do me a HUGE favor! If you are not interested in my girlfriends, actually make that all women everywhere, just SAY IT.  Don't say one thing at all that gives them hope that you might possibly be interested.  Don't do it! Because I would rather pick up their broken pieces of your fresh break up than constantly have to point out that you are not interested once a week because they are clinging desperately to what they thought you had.  Also, it must be just as frustrating for the men that use these lines in the hopes of getting out and somehow keep getting looped right back in.  Do us all a favor just say "It's been a slice but I never want to see you again."  (Hopefully far, far, far more tactfully than this).  All these words to soften the break up are just strings to a sinking ship that my girlfriends are holding onto.  They are plummetting down with the Titanic of love stories and yet they are unable to let go because perhaps it might miraculously resurface with enough effort. Cut those damn strings and do us all a favor you are not the only person dealing with this disaster in fact, my girlfriends never complain to the men that say these things about. Oh no! They could never because they are trying their hardest to pretend like they are oh so cool with the situation and have a solution that makes them in a happy unity if they can just figure it out how to win your heart.  So in turn I hear all about the pathetic attempts these men make to break up, just say what you mean and don't be so afraid of breaking some hearts.  Hearts are actually made to be broken, it gives them character,.  I would know mine is a million little pieces but it works better than ever.  Thanks for reading XO