I need to back track to this thought because I have heard way too many women in my life lately complain about 30 something men. And, before you go further and think I am biased I know women have issues and some things need to be said, but are there no tactful men out there? Here are three truths I have continuously found:
1) They rush. You have barely sat down to the coffee table on your first date and already they are setting parameters. They explain their life goals and if you aren't their picture perfect cut out of what they envisioned they kick you to the curb. Or worse they completely suffocate you with how you're soul mates. I honestly don't know which is worse. But, both rush whatever could have been. They want to move in right away, meet your family and then months down the line they discover you are actually an axe murderer. Who knew? Slow down.
2) They judge you without knowing you. For some reason men in their 30s have a mental list for their next girlfriend and their checking it twice. (Truth time: I have a list, it's on my fridge, but I don't follow it strictly because I don't want to miss meeting someone interesting by being an idiot). And, they say they are searching for their unicorn and it is 100 percent logical. Mean while they have been single for two years....yes, rejecting getting to know a real girl for a fictional one makes total sense. Spending countless nights alone wondering why you're single, is far better than getting to know someone who is awesome.
3) Their issues have issues...I once was in a long term committed relationship with a guy and he actually said that one day I would secretly stop taking my birth control and trap him with me forever with a child...hello crazy train. As if I would change my life goals and my opinion on wanting children in order to be with him forever...yaaaaaa. Needless to say men in their 30s seem to have baggage. They can't trust. Another had this crazy notion he was broken and just couldn't like nice girls. Sometimes they think you will be like their exes. Ugh, please relax. I only wanted to enjoy a beer on a sunny deck, tea at the coffee shop, lunch in the park...I am not dragging you to the chapel. Try to get to know someone before you beat them to death with your emotional baggage.
4) Last but not least they say they do all these things because they don't want to waste anyone's time. Perfect so getting to know me is a waste of time? Having fun and going and trying new things is a waste of time? Having company rather than sulking alone is a waste of time? You know what is a waste of time? Conversations about wastes of time. I am an adult. Try asking me exactly what I am looking for and getting to actually know me before you call me a waste of time.
Ah, and you are possibly wondering about Mr. Darcy and so am I. Getting to know someone has it's ups and downs. But, this is a topic for another day. Thanks for reading. XO
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