To Date, Or Not To Date? Online That Is....

“Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to Photoshop, in person your order looks nothing like the photo on the menu.” - Unknown.

 

Recently I have been noticing people with their online dating interests and it is another fascinating social phenomena that I have decided to explore, if for nothing else this blog.  Basically what intrigues me about online dating is first of all it is window shopping.  You get to pick and choose whoever you might fancy based on your attraction to their photos.  While I feel there is a warning here as Ms. J once told me about the popular dating site Plenty of Fish (POF) “Take the ugliest picture of them on there and times it by a million in ugliness and that is what they actually look like” So! Once you have a very poor concept of them physically then you will for sure not be disappointed when they turn out not half bad.  In August when I first moved here I went out with a few men from POF but they were duds, their looks were not half bad but there were just no spark so after I think it was possibly three dates I went off of it.  But, this week I thought I would give it a go again (from chatting with my other single POF ladies they to do this trend of going on, going off, etc.) Which brings me to my second intrigue about the online world of dating, anonymity.  You can be anyone you want to be! Actually COINCIDENTALLY enough while I was on there I actually saw a picture of a sexy male model that I had used in my blog, as a profile pic.  It was clearly not the same man in the sequence of photos and the picture was a professional model so this imposter had stolen said model’s sexy body and face, along with several other male models.  It is a virtual reality where you write your own character, and if you are satisfied with just an online world you can live there as whomever you wish to be.  

Here are some great statistics to get across the point of how popular online dating has become:

Total number of single people in the U.S.	54 Million
Total number of people in the U.S. who have tried online dating	40 Million
Total eHarmony members	20 Million
Total Match.com members	15 Million
Number of questions to fill out on eHarmony survey	400
Annual revenue from the online dating industry	$1.049 Billion
Average spent by dating site customer per year	$239
Average length of courtship for marriages that met online	18.5 Months
Average length of courtship for marriages that met offline	42 Months
Percent of users who leave within the first 3 months	10 %
Percent of male online dating users	52.4 %
Percent of female online dating users	47.6 %
(Reference 2 below)

 

 In this fantasy world you can also ask for things you may never ask for without the cloak of anonymity.  For example I had a man ask me for a picture of my feet.  Feet, something I do not think are pretty or nice to look at, but to someone else they are more erotic than I will ever understand.  So, while eating some potato chips and watching Netflix I took a picture of my clammy little foot and sent it.  Why not? It is not anything I would ever be embarrassed of if I saw it posted on the internet, and trust me I have been asked for A LOT worse by men that claim to respect me.  Here is the thing, once I sent it there was a very kind thank you, followed by compliments that were NOT of the sexual nature and an “I would love to rub your feet”  YES! I would love for someone to rub my feet on the regular.  That would be amazing.  After working ten hour days in tight, fashionable shoes, do you know what I do? I commute home and soak my feet in my little soaker foot bath for an hour with Epson salts.  I LOVE pedicures.  When I told my girlfriends about this online experience they said they are totally grossed out by foot fetishes.  Agree to disagree here ladies.

Another wonderful side to this online dating gig is that rejection is much easier to take.  There is no awkward humiliating moment when as Jenna Marbles says women say “Ew, go away” No, no.  There is simply a non-response or if they do respond, who cares? They are some stranger on the internet, you will never see them.  So you chat and chat and chat and, well you get the point.  And, this has not happened yet for me, but eventually one of you asks each other out. I know some of you may be thinking it would be so strange to date a stranger off the internet.  Let me tell you it is STRANGE to date anyways.  Dating is always going to be a bit strange, a bit unfamiliar, and a bit awkward until you find your bearings it is just the way getting to know someone works.  And, as my dear friend Ms. M pointed out, “always meet in public places they might be serial killers” I know Ms. K would have the same endearing advice as she has for everything to be careful and Ms. A would just laugh and laugh and then tell me to tell her all about it. 

In my week of being on online dating I have come to see that an interesting aspect of it is that there is actually online chemistry.  What I mean is that you can tell within a few messages if someone gets your sense of humour or have similar interests as you.  In fact you can ask questions and tell right away so it is almost better than meeting in person. While they can create any persona they want they can also be as honest as they want.  Also, if they are truly looking to meet someone who you get along with that you have a meaningful connection than you are not going to pretend to be something that you are not.  So, in that sense if you are chatting with someone on the same level as you, who is looking to meet someone they truly get along with than they are going to be more sincere than men that are out and about just looking to hook up.  Although BE WARNED as Marie Claire has expressed EASY SEX is the number 3 reason people online date.  The other four of the five reasons were 1) they have no time, 2) They think they have no game 3) They are tired of the meat market 4) They like to categorize their options (Reference 1) . So please do not be fooled into sex with a random stranger from the interworld as you may think you have soul connection on line and then give it away too fast in person, just to get burned. 

In my personal life I have not had any dates.  Mr. Elevator and I are over completely.  And, all over the other situations is a bit complicated.  However, it was through my excursion online that I realized that I do like several different types of personalities.  Also, reflecting upon my friends I have realized that I really enjoy the down to earth types who are new age and into alternative life styles so I am interested in meeting someone who can understand and not be judgemental about that way of life.  But, at the same time I find it very attractive when a man is successful and wears a business suit and has a similar career goal like myself so I also need a white collar type man.  But, at the same time I realized a lot of my friends from Small Town Nowhere are a bit red neck, they love the outdoors, drinking beers, camping, beach fires and four by fouring so I also need a little bit of that.  What is great is that through online dating I realized the different characters (unfortunately from all different men) that I want.  So, now what I need to do is prioritize those features. I do NOT want to date four men; I want to find a man who incorporates most of the above mentioned features along with my relationship needs.  I say needs because they are more than wants or desires they are what I need to be happy.

  I also realized that in ending things with Mr. Elevator that I am better than what he had to offer me.  I deserve a man who wants to be with me full on and yell it from the roof tops even! I had a self-actualization this week, without men, without dating, without booze that I am worth finding someone amazing.  In fact I realized that I am a good catch, I have a good job, I am a good person, I work hard, I treat my family great and my friends, I have a good heart and I put a lot of effort into my relationships and I deserve someone who gives it their all as well.  The sad truth is until about two days ago I just was not sure I was worth it.  I felt like I was okay at life and not really that great of a catch until this week, while saying good bye to certain unwanted forces I felt incredibly empowered and it was amazing! I woke up knowing exactly what I want.  I want to date and find that person who offers me the world, and in return I will be offering them the same thing.  What an amazing journey I am about to embark on with this new clarity! I know exactly the things I want from a man finally.  On a side note there is someone who is pretty great in the works but this will all be saved for another blog.  Until next week my lovely readers say I little wish for me in my adventure to find this awesome future man.  XOXO

 

RECOGNIZE THIS GUY?? Well apparently he is on POF…..ya right!

References:

Pictures:

https://www.google.ca/search?q=pictures+of+girls&hl=en&rls=com.microsoft:en-ca:IE-Address&rlz=1I7ADFA_enCA458&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=X0IsUYuEEY-GiQLM1ICACg&ved=0CCwQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=588#hl=en&rls=com.microsoft:en-ca%3AIE-Address&rlz=1I7ADFA_enCA458&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=pictures+of+girls+looking+taking+photos&oq=pictures+of+girls+looking+taking+photos&gs_l=img.3...44715.48945.2.49388.23.23.0.0.0.0.331.2561.14j5j3j1.23.0...0.0...1c.1.4.img.P1arsH5N7Lg&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.42965579,d.cGE&fp=7b516d86a2013cf8&biw=1366&bih=588

Articles:

1)      http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/men/why-people-date-online

2)   www.statisticbrain.com/online-dating-statistics

 

 

 

Taboo, Taboo, if that is what you are into!

“Sometimes I wonder if there's something wrong with me. Perhaps I've spent too long in the company of my literary romantic heroes, and consequently my ideals and expectations are far too high.”
― E.L. James, Fifty Shades of Grey

In the theme of my blog on why women cheat a while back I did come across the suggestion that women are straying because they are not sexually fulfilled in their relationships, which planted the seed for this very blog.  I will be honest with you there is nothing worse than being rejected by your lover either in person or in a sext.  Let me explain.  I have been in both situations, I have tried to express my inner desires to my exes and I know right away they are totally wigged out.  I know this because they get a look in their eyes; it is not so much judgement but more like fear.  For example if I say they should pull my hair hard I can see their mental wheels turning around how this should be performed and whether or not they are comfortable with doing such a deed.  Of course they are uncomfortable! Since the playground men are taught NOT to pull hair, no biting, always be nice, and always be gentle.  Then these boys grow into sexually charged teenagers and are further taught that if you want your dreams to come true of touching a girl you have to be nice to her, buy her the flowers, take her on the date, and talk to her kindly.  Men are raised to treat girls like sugar and spice and everything nice.  But with copies of 50 shades of Grey selling off the shelves and the Secretary’s 2002 release grossing over 6 million at the box office it is time for women to tell men “Naughty is the new nice baby!”

                What is interesting is that when I asked Ms. J about this topic she said that she did not believe that men are reserved, but then I had to think of my own personal experiences dirty talking.  Some men have the ability while other’s REALLY do not.  They are awkward and say the most candy coated things, so if men are able to express their sexuality so easily than why don’t they? I have to disagree with Ms. J on this point as I think a lot of men out there are secretly desiring the dark world of the bed room but are unable to express it.  I will share with you this little tale, I once was in an intimate moment with a young lover and I said something to him that cannot be repeated here, my curious little readers, and he actually said this back to me “I really want to kiss your mouth” Mmmhmm, kiss my mouth.  While of course kissing mouths is nice and all that jazz but when I am heating it up between the sheets that is not really what I am looking for, what am I 14? I believe that men have been programmed since the day they are born that respect for a woman means to always be sickly sweet.  But, I think that respect can be knowing a woman is strong enough to know what she wants in the bedroom, and if all else fails my confused little lovers that is what safe words are for. 

Surprise, surprise I found a large amount of literature out there about what men want in the bedroom BUT  are too afraid to ask for.  No doubt! This little gem is from “5 things Men Secretly Want in Bed But Are Afraid to Ask For” “The consensus is that girls aren’t vocal enough in bed, and guys don’t know how to tell them to open their mouths and let loose. On the other hand, some guys wanted to be the ones to talk, but were nervous that what they really wanted to say might be offensive.”(1)  So I am not saying ever force your desires on your lady friends to the men out there but what I am saying is get a little dirty, express yourself, you may just be happily surprised by the outcome. What is also interesting that was brought up by my lovely little married friend (and fully supported by the majority of literature out there) is that married couples have more sexual expression due to the security in their relationship and longevity. 

Now there are some incredibly sexually liberated societies out there, do not get me wrong fetish clubs are great! But, I am talking about dating here.  Regular old vanilla dating.  I actually coined the term vanilla sex in regards to the majority of my past relationships.  See it is not only men that are taught to sensor themselves from a young age.  Women are also taught these things, they are taught to be nice, be soft, be pretty, they are not taught that sexuality is part of human nature and exploring it is going to be one of the most amazing parts of their lives! There is nothing wrong with being curious, or, HEAVEN FORBID, a little aroused when you hear about taboo fetishes.  But, women often feel an enormous amount of fear for rejection and judgement.  “The overarching theme… is that they’re all things that we think we shouldn’t want—because they’re either unladylike or anti-feminist or degrading—and so we’re afraid of asking for them, lest we be judged by our partners, or worse, ourselves. But we need to let go of our social propriety complexes and understand that there are different rules when you’re bumping uglies from when you’re having high tea with your mother in law.”(2)  So I was curious what is shame keeping women from expressing? I looked into it and it turns out the glorious five things women are secretly wanting from their lovers are:

1)      ROUGH SEX

2)      DIRTY TALK

3)      WATCHING PORN

4)      ANAL

5)      BDSM (3)

Another surprise, surprise here that this list matches the opposite sexes desire list to a T. How awfully supressed we are to both be longing for our big top five and be too afraid of each other to ask for it! Tsk, tsk.

It is no wonder that words like this “I want you sore, baby,” he murmurs, and he continues his sweet, leisurely torment, backward, forward. “Every time you move tomorrow, I want you to be reminded that I’ve been here. Only me. You are mine” (4)  took the world by storm.  How dare E. L. James read our dirty little minds and write it all down on paper! Or perhaps she deserves a standing ovation for all those sexually repressed women she liberated into realizing they wanted something a little socially taboo!  Who after they read it pronounced to their friends and lovers their new desires.  BRAVO!  So my advice to you is EXPRESS YOURSELF! You can always blame it on the passion, the booze, the TV, whatever if it is not perceived well.  You can live your whole life living in mediocrity out of fear of rejection or you can knock boots like you have always fantasized about with a person who does not judge you.  It is VERY important to note her you should never feel pressured into sexual liberation, that is actually the opposite of liberation.  Your exploration has to be consensual and something you are both intrigued by.  I shiver when Ms. M tells me “Oh ya I know a girl that did something sexually she did not enjoy because she did not want to lose her man.”  If you are with someone who is into something that you are not into then you have to either negotiate a comfortable middle ground that you enjoy, or realize that he is not your sexual soul mate and then decide if you can live with that.  See the sad thing is that we live in a society that is also trained to deprioritize sexual compatibility.  We focus on the aspects of social compatibility instead, but sexual compatibility is essential to a happy long term relationship.  I have ended dates early, left abruptly mid make out session and kicked half naked men out of my house unfulfilled because they have done something during the buildup to sexual intimacy that has made me realize there is no way this is going to be satisfying.  I have also tried to stay in the vanilla sex relationship and let me tell you it leads to a lot of fantasizing and never feeling fulfilled; it also leads to a little resentment towards your lover because they disregard your desires.  So once again it all ties back to honesty, be honest to you.  Are you having mind blowing intimacy? Is your sex life all it can be? If you answer no then you really need to ask yourself why? And how can I fix it? If you are wondering where I stand on the satisfaction ladder the answer is I was raised that if you never ask you never know, so the asking part I have got covered, but getting satisfaction to those questions, well that is another story.

On Monday while it began to pour rain whilst I had no umbrella, right after I had attempted to put on chap stick that the center flew out of it into the middle of the street Colbie Cobalt’s song “I never told you” comes on.   With the lyrics “I miss those blue eyes.  How you kissed me at night.  I miss the way we sleep” I missed Mr. X.  See writing this blog I have been so full of piss and vinegar that I forgot that blood pumps through these veins, to a heart that is still healing.  It has been easier to think of all the garbage of the past than the moments that make us fall in love.  For example I miss texts in the morning telling me to have a great day and how beautiful I am every day, I miss getting flowers delivered no matter where I am just to make me feel special, I miss dancing into the wee hours of the night with Mr. X, I miss being silly and being accepted, I miss having a lover who is also your best friend and someone you begin to feel is the best part of your life.  To be truthful missing someone does not mean that I want him back, we have come too far, there is no rewind button on life.  But, on that dreary Monday I realized there is a void in my heart where love use to be, and that made me realize two things. 1) Missing that love makes me incredibly sad and 2) I do need more time to get over Mr. X. 

The interesting thing is that it is not so much him I am missing but the little things, the feelings, the love.  It got me to thinking that after you have fallen fully in love can you fall in love again?  I have felt that for the past half a year I have been without.  Living in a state of fear of rejection, and heart ache which has lead me to keep men at a distance.  I cannot shake the memory of falling asleep saying “I love you” to someone and waking up in a totally new life path and not being able to go back to that love.  Once your world is shaken is it truly possible to pick up all the pieces and carry on? I spoke of scars of the past that remind us to tread careful, but it is those scars that are crippling me these days.  I have felt numb more than I have felt excited about the opposite sex; I have felt myself REALLY trying to be enthusiastic about dating but getting exhausted because at the end of the day I still feel afraid of the past.  I feel empty and more hopeless about finding that right someone than ever before. After six months of haphazard dating I am more skeptical of finding someone that makes falling in love feel as easy as I did almost four years ago.  Here is the thing; according to the break up calculator used in my first blog I still have until May to have these feelings.   But, if Mr. X appeared I would literally run away from him, like the scene from the film “How Do You Know” when Jack Nicholson is trying to give Paul Rudd bad news and Paul Rudd literally runs away down the street as away from Nicholson.  I have added the link below to relate the point and for comical relief in my cynicism.  I was speaking with Ms. K and my lovely married friend (from previous blog) and I said “I think the reason I have not met someone to fully connect with is that I am so confused in my own head as to what I want, I am projecting this uncertainty out there and getting all this mess”  Also I am projecting a half way there vibe, I want to be there to fall with someone but I also am petrified and therefore reluctant so I am in a battle with my own self. So, this week I had an unfortunate revelation that I still miss my Mr. X, still have some getting over to do, BUT more importantly I need to get a clear idea of the type of man I am searching for, is he blue collar, is he white collar, does that matter? Does he live in Downtown, North Van or the surrounding area, does that matter? All the factors I need to sort out.  Just as important I need to discover what I want from that man or I will just keep creating confusion everywhere I go.  This week I have decided not to speak of my dating life, it just does not seem appropriate given what I am talking about in this blog.  Until next week I will be sorting myself out, and hopefully feeling more than the usual for the opposite sex. 

“And if you’re in love than you’re the lucky one cause most of us are bitter over someone”  

http://movieclips.com/6oGb-how-do-you-know-movie-trailer-1/ 

 

References:

1)      “Five Things Men Secretly Want in Bed But Are Afraid to Ask For” Daily Date Olivia Quiver April 18^th 2011

2)      “Five Things Women  Secretly Want in Bed But Are Afraid to Ask For” Daily Date Olivia Quiver April 15^th 2011

3)      Ibid.

4)      “50 Shades of Grey” E. L James (http://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/15732562-fifty-shades-of-grey )

Picture 1 to 4 from: https://www.google.ca/search?q=pictures+of+women+and+men&hl=en&rls=com.microsoft:en-ca:IE-Address&rlz=1I7ADFA_enCA458&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=7p4lUb-_MsX1iQLKs4HYCw&ved=0CCwQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=588#hl=en&rls=com.microsoft:en-ca%3AIE-Address&rlz=1I7ADFA_enCA458&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=pictures+of+women+and+men+and+handcuffs&oq=pictures+of+women+and+men+and+handcuffs&gs_l=img.3...2183.5726.0.6196.14.14.0.0.0.0.427.1654.4j7j4-1.12.0...0.0...1c.1.4.img.WqGrqSWLemA&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_cp.r_qf.&bvm=bv.42661473,d.cGE&fp=101f561064d1d545&biw=1366&bih=588

Picture 5 from: https://www.google.ca/search?q=pictures+of+broken+hearts&hl=en&qscrl=1&rlz=1T4ADFA_enCA458CA458&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ei=MJ8lUfjiOKf1iwL-t4GwCQ&sqi=2&ved=0CCwQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=588

Don't Worry, All My Personalities Are Just As Crazy

“Mad woman, bad woman that’s just what you are, ya, you’ll smile in my face and rip my breaks out my car”

Bruno Mars

This topic was actually given to me last year by one of my coworkers  and it is interesting to see how much data there is out there about it. In fact, history is chalk full of good examples of crazy women, every orifice of our society is full of examples in literature, art, music, theater, you name it, there has been a production about the mad side of women.  Have you ever heard of or witnessed psychotic behaviour (and also possibly been the participant in said behaviour) towards a boyfriend from his girlfriend and either in the after math or during thought “Wow! This is crazy, why does he put up with this?” It is fascinating the terrible things I have seen women do their partners in the heat of the moment and then later acted like nothing had happened leaving you standing there with a look of horror on your face that cannot be disguised with your best fake smile.  So I found myself wonder “Why? Why? Why?” do men take the dramatic beating with the crazy stick and keep on ticking? Three factors came to me in my hunt for the lunacy addiction of the other sex.  The first and most comical is the hot to crazy ratio put forward by the infamous Barney Stinson:

“The diagonal line is known as the Vicky Mendoza Diagonal by Barney, after a girl he dated who jumped back and forth across the line by shaving her head, then losing ten pounds, then stabbing Barney with a fork and finally getting a boob job.

Added by PCool

The bottom-right corner of the scale is dubbed the Shelly Gallebsy zone by Barney, after another girl he dated who fell into that area after gaining twenty pounds and trying to kill him with a brick.

Barney explains the Hot-Crazy scale to the gang after Ted introduces them to Blah Blah, his crazy girlfriend at the time.” (1)

Basically this theory puts forth: “a person is allowed to be crazy, as long as they are equally hot. Ideally, you want your date to be above the diagonal line, indicating that they are hotter than they are crazy.”(2)   So this explains why I often see men that are not generically handsome with some very stunning women.  But, more resolute this explanation explains why I have seen men punched, kicked, screamed at, vases thrown at, bitten (and not in a good way), smacked, house windows broken, car windows broken, and more extreme measures  and yet these men stay with the perpetrators.  They have realized that these women are hot enough to endure their insane antics. “It is amazing the amount of torture a guy will put himself through for a hot partner and steady sex.” (3)   Sex, is the other reason that I have  merged with the hotness factor, men often see a crazy woman as a crazy sexual experience.  They get this mentality that if she is this crazy in day to day life than she must just let loose between the sheets.  There is really no substantial data to support this claim but perhaps it is true, and if it makes men happy than why not.  These two concepts of course suggest that men are perhaps shallow which is not what I am trying to say at all, so please do not take offense to this comical suggestion, but it does make sense for some men, who are, let’s just face it, shallow.  A good example of this is my friend Mr. Suit who actually identifies with Barney and his theories frequently so these men do exist out there.  Also, this got me to thinking! If a woman is hot enough and has a long enough bout of sanity to draw a man in then he may just fall deeply in love than this man maybe love struck. 

Which brings us to my second theory “Yeah, she’s crazy BUT I love her” The poor love sick man, trapped with a woman who is 80 percent wonderful BUT 20 % batshit crazy.  What to do when your one love acts like two different people? Stay with her and stick out the crazy spells. The truth is we all know or have dated this guy, he loves his crazy woman, his friends tell him she’s crazy, his mom tells him she’s crazy, hell, even his boss says “That chick is whack!” but he does not want to hear this.  In truth, if everyone and his dog has told him, HE KNOWS, but he also loves her.  You will recognize this love sick man when his friend’s tease him about his psychotic girlfriends as she texts him for the one millionth time during guy’s night out, but instead of agreeing and bashing her, he is coy, and says things like “It is not that bad.” These men are in love, so just leave them be, one day they will wake up and realize the dream girl they fell asleep beside is actually a nightmare vision of the girl from the Exorcist, head spinning and all, OR perhaps they will never wake up.  You see it is possible these men are numb to the crazy vibe, they are mellow, settlers who have found their one and are perfectly happy exhisting in crazy town, population him and her (and her three other personalities).  I have known several love sick men like this in my time.  This theory of the hopeless romantic I found tightly interwoven with the hero theory which basically states: “Men love to be heroes. They love to "fix" things. It makes them feel needed, important, and feeds the male ego. Who makes a better damsel in distress than a poor, defenseless lunachick?”(4)  So, it makes one ponder is it the love of ego or the love of the actual damsel that has crazy women so lucky in love? I am not sure, but I will accept both as possibilities for a man’s ability to deal with craziness.

Lastly and more for comical relief than a really psychoanalysis in the male psyche it is suggested that men stay with lunachicks because they are lazy.  Unlike their female counter part that has an urge to stay with Mr. Wrong out of fear of being alone; men are actually just driven by sheer lack of motivation. They figure if they are already in one relationship, and women are crazy than why make the effort for change. “it’s more likely that it’s just easier to stay. I’ve had multiple male friends with girls (not crazy) in the last year that stayed long past the relationship should’ve been over.”(5)  But, this clearly links back to the fact that men avoid confrontation and drama.  If their girl is crazy on a regular day just imagine what might be in store for them on B Day (Break Up Day) Men are afraid of that confrontational bomb exploding all over their lives, so it is easier to just stay at theregular level of crazy they have gotten used to.  Here is fun experiment to do, so you have already at one point in your relationship opened the lid of your can of crazy and your partner took it very well.  I suggest you slowly try more crazy things, to gauge his reaction.  Trust me you will know when he have reached his brink of craziness and you can easily apologize and say you will not do that again.  Thus you have tested the limits of your partner, which is something I have done from time to time; it is really intriguing what the opposite sex will endure in the name of love.  However, if you really care about your partner and think you have a future together I would suggest NOT doing this little social experiment, as you will always feel a bit off at the fact that your soul mate saw you at your highest peak of lunachick and there is NO taking that back! This lunachick experiment is really to try with someone you do not see a future with and really just feel like seeing what would happen if you did something totally ludicrous. I am fully aware sane people may not have these urges, and to any of my exes who may be gluttonous enough to ever read this blog, I would say sorry but that is just not in my Lunachick nature! (insert crazy Cruella Deville style laughter here)

What to say about this week….I am not sure.  I sent Mr. Elevator a text ending things; I know I am a total hypocrite asshole! But, in all fairness I never know when I am going to see him again so it had to be done via shitty text, unfortunately I had break up remorse the next day AND attempted to recant my earlier text.  Which oddly enough got a “You’re crazy” but an agreement to talk this weekend after I had some time to think.  Never will I deny I am crazy like a fox, but that point should be mute by now if you have been reading this blog since the beginning.  So that is a big mess that I created because I got to thinking how long should two people do the uncertainty shuffle of not wanting anything serious.  I mean really to me it comes across as a cheap way to keep me on the side and play the field? Or maybe that is just my lunachick talking but it seems to be the general consensus between all my Ms friends and the men I know so let’s get real.  I deserve someone who is at least willing to try out the dating waters before jumping out of the pool.  Moving on, I also messaged Mr. Kind saying that I did not think that a romantic future was in order, see I met Mr. Motown on the Seabus and thought he might actually have dating potential, but he had some less than flattering sexual advances so he got bumped off my radar after I sent both said messages.  But, there is always a silver lining to each strange dating grey cloud, what that silver lining is I am really not sure,  the more I write about his romantic life the more vague and confusing it appears to become.  Is it so hard to find a manly man who is considerate and wild, fun and spontaneous, romantic but still edgy, well rounded, well employed and a good sense of humor who is interested in dating? It would appear as though the answer is YES! Surprise, surprise.  It seems like I am always finding men that have pieces of the man that would be great to date but they are all without.  If they are nice they are not bad (which they have to be a little) or they are too bad and total douches, or if they are complicated they are too complicated and confusing, or they are too simple or forth write, or they are too cheap, too luxurious, too drunk, too rude, too jealous, too lazy, too relaxed, etc. you get the point. ..Oh! Right, as for Mr. Yukon, well he is 2414 kms away, what is the harm with a little racy texting and his flattery from time to time.  Fun Fact: Mr. NiceGuy and Mr. X my two serious long term relationships are from the same town, let’s call it King North.  Now, King North produces real men, men who make you feel safe in a hurricane, now how to be handy around the house, they are masculine, brave, known to be a bit rough around the edges, they are men’s men.  So, I saw on Facebook a man who is friends with a lot of King North friends but for some reason he did not look overly familiar but he is from there and we share a lot of friends, I thought that we might have met before, and partially out of my affection for men of King North and his good looks I friend requested him.  If nothing else he has a hot tub, and all my friends from King North are such a blast that a friendship with him would be appreciated at this time in my confusing dating life.  The truth of the matter is dating like a man is CONFUSING! Having too many options is distracting and keeps you from really focusing on any one as a whole, it also leads to more and more options and it is just more and more confusing.  Thus while last week seemed like one hell of a brilliant idea, this week of experience has actually lead me to believe that it is exhausting.  So basically not sure where I am headed this week, only time will tell as usual.  Thanks for reading, in the mean while I will be perhaps confusingly dating like a man and analyzing like a lunachick.

References:

1)      http://how-i-met-your-mother.wikia.com/wiki/Hot/Crazy_Scale (first two pictures are also from this site)

2)       Ibid.

3)      “Why Do Men Date Crazy Women?” http://www.sheckys.com/2011/03/31/why-do-men-date-crazy-women/

4)      Ibid.

5)      “Five Reasons Men Love Crazy Women” Love Buzz September 15^th 2009

Pictures:

1)      http://www.google.ca/search?q=pictures+of+women&hl=en&tbo=u&rls=com.microsoft:en-ca:IE-Address&rlz=1I7ADFA_enCA458&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ei=uGYcUcLXG8bpiwLJnYDQDg&ved=0CCwQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=588#hl=en&tbo=d&rls=com.microsoft:en-ca%3AIE-Address&rlz=1I7ADFA_enCA458&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=pictures+of+women+crazy&oq=pictures+of+women+crazy&gs_l=img.3...2322.4176.0.4750.6.6.0.0.0.0.233.628.5j0j1.6.0.ernk_timediscounta..0.0...1.1.3.img.JVa5HjCEfg8&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.42452523,d.cGE&fp=2646b7bc739eec4e&biw=1366&bih=588

2)      http://www.google.ca/search?q=pictures+of+women&hl=en&tbo=u&rls=com.microsoft:en-ca:IE-Address&rlz=1I7ADFA_enCA458&tbm=isch&source=univ&sa=X&ei=uGYcUcLXG8bpiwLJnYDQDg&ved=0CCwQsAQ&biw=1366&bih=588#hl=en&tbo=d&rls=com.microsoft:en-ca%3AIE-Address&rlz=1I7ADFA_enCA458&tbm=isch&sa=1&q=pictures+of+sexy+men+&oq=pictures+of+sexy+men+&gs_l=img.3...2100.3995.5.4555.9.7.1.0.0.1.93.505.7.7.0.ernk_timediscounta..0.0...1.1.3.img.YgGFNm4J5dw&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.r_qf.&bvm=bv.42452523,d.cGE&fp=2646b7bc739eec4e&biw=1366&bih=588