Do you ever find yourself in a conversation with someone you use to know and you realize how much you really don't care? About the person, the situation, the conversation, about it all. You self actualize how over it you truly are and how strong you have become. You learn all the things you don't ever want because they were all the things you had with them. The following are three traits which fell through the cracks in my heart during its last break which are never welcome back.
1) Pit feelings. Truth time. The American and I should have never moved in together. I had this dark, unsettled feeling deep in my stomach when he moved in. But, I talked myself out of these intuitive emotions and convinced myself we were meant to be. I should have trusted my gut. I should have listened to what my head was trying to scream down to my heart. But the heart is ignorant to anything logical and it leads you to all kinds of places where it gets broken into a million little pieces. Moving forward I will always trust this gut feeling. If you are interested in human intuition read Malcolm Gladwell's "Blink."
2) An extrovert can be happy with an introvert. NOPE. I can tell you an extrovert will cancel plans they wanted to keep, avoid social outings and struggle convincing their partner to come out if they try to make a go with an introvert. Sorry introverts but an extrovert will never be happy in your shut in world. They will feel judged for wanting to be social and sad because they are losing themselves. For an extrovert to truly flourish and be happy you should date another just like you. You will feed off each other's energies and strengthen on another rather than the opposite. Trust me I know.
3) Not worthy. I have touched on this before. A very happily married friend of mine said "never stay if he makes you feel like you are not worth it" Earth to future self please remember this one. Rather than say adios to men that make me feel like I am not good enough I got it in my head that I should prove to them I am worthy. Sigh (shaking head). I am actually worth it so I am really working on being strong on this point. Anyone who criticizes you and wants you to change can take a hike.
It is so interesting that one must break. Be broken into tiny shattered pieces and in putting those peices back together you realize there are tragic peices that never belonged as part of your puzzle. They are dull and painful pieces that you leave out when you stitch yourself back together. These spaces where the dull pieces use to be formed gaps which are stitched together with beautiful sparkling self actualizing string, these spots shine brighter in your soul to remind you are better and stronger now. It is not forgetting your memories but recognizing the negative taint of those memories and getting healthy and happy again. Thanks for reading. XO.
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