Roller Coaster

Welcome to the roller coaster of emotions that accompany falling out of love.  Denial does funny things to the mind.  It enables hope which in turn creates a rush of emotions that make you think that getting back your lost love would be the best course of action.  You waste your precious time attempting to devise how such a feat would be accomplished.  But, then denial leaves you and takes hope along with it and you are left feeling a bit p#ssed off to be honest.  And, rejected, and hurt, confused, sad with even a pinch of depression in the mix just to kick you when you are down.  The following are my three tips on how to get off this roller coaster mostly unscathed.

Tip One: The Calm Before The Storm
 Recognize your calm and act within it.  Make all important life decisions and have life altering conversations only when you feel somewhat emotionally balanced.  DO NOT decide in a moment of utter loneliness you should be intimate with an ex flame, in fact, best not to be intimate with anyone until head is on straight.  Currently your head is spinning like the poor girl possessed in The Exorcism and who knows what kind of man that energy will attract.  And, I will tell you a little secret I just realized.  The American and I walked calmly into love.  He is a very emotionally distant person who I just always assumed was an introvert.  But, what I realize now is he is actually just an aloof person,   He is exactly what I was two years ago when we started dating.  I attracted someone who was nice but uncertain, just like I use to be.  And, lastly, it is crucial during your emotional lows that you  DO NOT call your Mr. Wrong and tell him all his imperfections so that he can work on them (Oh snap...I have done this and should take my own advice),  You are broken and pain makes us do hurtful things we regret.  Try and experience your emotions, but do not lash out.

Tip Two: Own Your Emotions.
When you are in your comfort zone or with friends cry it out.  Or if you are like me, blog it out.  You will soon realize you are a hot mess the more you express what is in your heart.  Here is a perfect example of what I went through. Woke up thinking I will never talk to The American again, had coffee thought I should actually just text The American once a day expressing a positive thought about our previous relationship, had shower and thought "No, No, I will give him space and then call him a few weeks.." you get the idea.  I was all over the map.  The truth of the matter is there is no road map to guide you out of a break up.  The best thing you can do is hash it out with your self and your close friends until there is nothing left to hash.

Tip Three: Stay Away from Wine
It is so easy to coat our emotions in sweet, sweet numbing alcohol.  However, it is just a trick to prolong denial.  Sadly the only way you will ever feel normal again is if you feel like sh*t for a while.  Sorry, there is no quick cure.  You have to let your mind and heart go through whatever they need to go through to take you where you need to be emotionally and mentally.  I know it sucks, and it is incredibly hard, but there is no other solution.  Alcohol will only mask and delay the healing process. Not to mention make you act like a lunachick, stay away from anything which enhances your emotions when you are weaving so many emotional threads.

My primary emotion was denial.  Maybe it is the optimist in me.  I was always thinking, maybe I could change his mind.  It was so difficult to fully understand how someone can fall out of love with you and why.  Emotions are complicated because they cannot be controlled but gradually sadness fades away to make room for all the future happiness.  Thanks for reading! See you next week XO