Summer Fling

Well, I was bound to write this post…  I met someone that reminded me how to laugh, care free and loud, how to not care and the value in the anticipation of the first kiss.  For these things I owe him a huge thank you.  Feeling good about someone after the storm at the end of a relationship is like a breath of fresh air, after being submerged for two seconds too long underwater.  It is like seeing in color after you had been living in black and white, and remembering how good color is.   The following are three fling guidelines I suggest:

1) Laughter is the best medicine.  I thought I had  wanted a six-foot something, chiseled, super model kind of guy, one whose hotness factor would make me happy. I was wrong.  Not to say that my fling was not attractive, Quite the contrary!  But it was not his tanned smooth skin, stylish wardrobe, perfect hair and pouty lips that won me over.  It was, instead, the hours of ridiculous laughter he brought into my life.  From the dinner table to moments of intimacy, I found both of us laughing hysterically about everything.  The best advice I will ever give you is to surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Laughter will melt your woes away into a distant memory; you will never be unhappy while in the midst of a good laugh.

2) Don't pick the nice guy.  Nice guys are not fling material.  I had thought I wanted to fling it up with a nice guy because then in the end I wouldn't feel used, and that they would treat me with kindness.  This was not the case for me (I suggest you have a fling with someone who makes you blush.)  Just trust me on this advice.  HOWEVER, do not stray too far away from nice or you will end up flinging with a do#chebag, and that is the worst.  Yes, I am aware finding just the right fling is like finding a needle in a haystack.

3) You should only fling with someone who makes you feel special.  Don't even waste your time on someone you have to chase.  The truth is if he makes you feel like you are worth his time then he is fling worthy.  You should never chase anyone, or try and convince him or her of your worth.  The dynamics of a fling are short and sweet.  It should be as fun as possible, and nothing more.

A successful fling will make you feel like you are on top of the world.  It reminds you of all the things you love about the beginning of something, the rush from the fun and excitement that comes with a new wave of attention.  You begin to recall all the feelings that had become a dusty old memory: and you remember what good attention is, what it is you want, what you don't want, and you will find yourself feeling like you again.    You may also find yourself falling into these feelings and become a bit lunachicky, but that is topic for another day.  Thanks for reading! XO

3 Things I learned about men

Mexico was a re-affirming experience, it reminded me that there are three things that men enjoy in the opposite sex. And,before you read these and think I am being a d#ck, and that you are nothing like these, read on.  You would be surprised how similar men and women can be.

1) Size matters (cup size that is).  I was sitting on a swing in Mexico at the beach bar next to a woman who is cosmetically enhanced in the area that counts.  There was a nice couple beside her and me on the other side.  Men continuously came up to the couple side and began chatting to both her and the couple.  I began to notice, after the fourth man, that I was being left out of the introductions.  The enhanced woman would introduce the couple and herself and when she was going to introduce me (after all I had befriended her earlier that day) the buck stopped.  The men appeared to have zero interest in meeting anyone beyond her.  This got me to thinking about all of the times I have seen men do courteous acts for women (particularly women who were busty).  From my 33 years of witnessing "boob power" I have decided that cup size matters.

2) The younger the better.  (Insert sigh, insert eye roll...etc.) If Hollywood has taught us anything, nothing of value that is, it is that men like their women young and pretty.  And, before you get all up in arms and think I don't understand, I get it.  20 somethings are great aren't they?  Yes, the answer is pure and simple.  From the multitude of divorced friends I have witnessed seething over their exes new 20 something honey, to the men on Vanity Fair, it is apparent that men have also figured this out.  20 is fun, 20 is worry free, 20 is cute and pretty and everything that getting old and stressed out is not, so it makes perfect sense why a man on vacation, or post-divorce would seek the comfort of a young woman.  Not to mention the ego stroke it must give a balding, fattening up, sad man to have a trophy girl on his arm.  At 20 all your bouncy, beautiful firm parts are exactly what they should be, and truth be told, I would nine-hundred and ninty-nine percent rather see a firm bodied 20 year old over a guy my age.  You can judge all you want, but let me finish, sure 20 something is fantastic, but they are without.  Without the life experience that makes you maintain your interest.  But, for a sexy vacation they are just right.

3) Last but not least the hotter the better.  Yes, yes in an ideal word beauty from the inside would be all that matters but let's join reality for this point.  To quote Manitoba "It is the outside I am going to have sex with." True.  Physical attraction is a must.   Don't be offended because the hot factor is is part of life, if you are happily married than your husband thinks you are hot so relax. Looks matter, I recently saw a post about an ad campaign in the UK.  It had a very fit woman and it said something like "get in shape for summer" or "get your bikini body" or something that women took extreme offence to.  To which a slue of men argued that women should be fit and hot, it was a disaster debate for so many reasons.  The truth is the majority of men like a woman that looks like a model (not a creepy Calvin Klien model though) that is just the way of the world.

The truth is that these are just three observations about men, they do not define anyone and they certainly should not define you.  All of the posts I see about breaking through the gender stereotypes and liberating body image stereotypes are nice, but then I go outside and people watch and realize that men enjoy, what they have always enjoyed in the opposite sex and there is no shame in that, it is what it is.

It's a Groove Thing

I wrote this last Wednesday while in Mexico to publish today:

As I lay here in the sticky Mexican heat staring out at the palms and ocean I can't help but feel like nothing matters.  No I am not drunk...(yet)...I am totally relaxed.  Mexico has swallowed me up and spit me out fully untangled from my stress.  The way she always does.  I would like to share with you three groove things I rediscovered on this trip:

1) Age doesn't matter.  From the fun 19 year olds at the beach bar to the elderly couple at the food buffet, we are all seeking the same beautiful thing.  A tangible experience that takes us away from anything negative, from reality, from our woes.  We are all floating into smiles, sunshine, cervezas, we are all one here and we are happy.

2) Be a fool.  No one cares!! Get messy, get frisky, get living life, because you only have 7 to 14 days to do it in so you best get going.  The truth is you can be anyone you want to be on vacation.  No one knows you, or expects anything of you.  So, go out there and do what you will make you head back home declaring you just had the best vacation of your life!

3) Being gorgeous doesn't matter.  Seriously.  On the hot beach in the mix of one pieces, barely there bikinis, speedos, beer bellies,etc you realize looks don't matter.  The release of social pressure to be pretty and prefect and put together is amazing!  You sweat off your makeup, you wear a hideous passport purse, you swing into full tacky, fantastic, vacation mode and nothing is more liberating than not giving a f#ck.

Huge Thanks to the following people: The Aussie, Manitoba, The Birthday Brit, The Young Love Birds, Bethlehem, Texas (X2), Broken Leg, The Crazies, The Argentinians, The Irish, Bravo Echo, The Brit Boys and all the people of Mexico!!
But, of course the biggest thanks to my mom for coming with me to Mexico to find my groove, and remember what is important and what really just isn't.  Viva La Mexico!!
Thanks for reading. XO