Be A Warrior

So, I have been gathering my thoughts and emotions about this post and it had taken me longer than anticipated.  As most of you know my dad has a rare muscle degenerating disease called Inclusion Body Myostis (IBM).  He has care workers that get him out of his hospital bed into his wheel chair and vise versa.  He has the use of one arm which he can raise enough to still feed himself.  But, mentally he's sharp as a tack. And, it got me to thinking the following three things:

1) We are all struggling with hard decisions.  My dad wants to live in the house his hard earned money bought.  My mom wants him to be properly cared for and be in a facility that is able to do that.  And me? I can't side with either.  They are your parents.  How does one grow up and make these decisions? And, I know you too have aging parents and maybe your dad had a heart attack but won't change his eating habits, or your grandmother has dementia and fights the nurses at the nursing home.  We are all growing into adult real pain and hard decisions and it is brutal.

2) We all have pain.  Do you ever just cry? Like sit down alone and let it out? And you cry because of all the dads in all the world your magnificent one had to get riddled with illness and it isn't fair.  You're not alone.  I do this too.  In the shower so I can claim the old shampoo in the eye trick.  We all have immense pain at this age.  Some of us have lost the love of our life, our child, our parent and I want to tell you.  When you feel your pain and cry I am with you. You are not alone.  In a world that may seem too busy to care we are all hurting.

3) You are a f#cking warrior. So when I get all egocentric and processing how my dads illness effects me I think about how it effects him. He. Is. A. F#cking. Warrior. How he finds the strength to get out of bed everyday at the crack of dawn through the pain is strength.  How he smiles away all day while his sharp mind is literally trapped in a body that won't work is strength.  How he stays the course is inspiration.  We are warriors together to love through the struggle.  To never give up together.  To be proud we have adapted and grown and realized what we can endure.  We are warriors in a time where weakness is so appealing.

And, as there is nothing one can do but be strong and cry and just keep going that is what we do.  I don't know what tomorrow brings or how to make the tough decisions but no one does.  All we can do is breathe.  Thanks for reading. XO

Nailed It

Recently someone asked me how I got so comfortable with rejection and being single and the following three points are my answer:

1) Be terrible at finding love.  And, I don't just mean have a few bad flings I mean be truly awful at romance.  Be so tragically bad at it that you fall for the charming guy who promises you the world but never follows through, or the boy next door who's in love with someone else, or your childhood crush turned hottie who's only interested in sewing his wild oats.  Get to the point where your boss rolls his eyes when you mention you met someone, where your parents shake their heads and your best friends are one step away from voodoo because they still have faith.  Be horrifically, terrible at love and accept that fate. 

2) Be an amazing catch.  Use this time of alone-ness to really work on yourself.  Work out hard and eat right.  Get in sexy shape and while working out contemplate all the "feedback" you've received.  Put yourself in others shoes and truly work on yourself.  In the process also forgive others and yourself for any issues and move forward.  Fall in love with yourself and be happy with who you are.

3) Focus on the good.  You're amazing.  There is no doubt about it.  Focus on the positive people and events in your life and always look forward to the next set of great moments.  Do not get lost in anything that may drag you down.  This may also mean avoiding people who are negative. Stay the course.  Stay busy and fill your life with good friends who build you up.  Be complete and when rejection comes you will view it as an opportunity to learn about yourself and an indicator that you tried rather than get down.

And, yes it can be awkward rejecting someone and being rejected when the alternate status is being single.  But, it is better to be alone than with the wrong person. And, it is better to have tried and failed than not. And, yes, I will admit for a moment in time I got lost in a crush again but who has time for focusing on things that will never work out when so many things will. Thanks for reading! XO

To all the mothers out there!

A very important message to all my amazing friends who are mothers.  You are doing it right! The following are three truths I want you to know.

1) There is no right or wrong.  I have so many of my mother friends tell me time and time again not to tell anyone they have: potty trained with smarties, let their child watch the Jungle Book, let their child eat toast for dinner...etc.  As if their way of parenting is wrong.  Well it is 100 percent right!! You're finding your way to parenthood and your way is the right way for you.  There actually is no wrong way.

2) You are all scared. Time and time again my mother friends are afraid of judgement and for not being "fun" anymore.  You all need to know that each and everyone of you feels the same. Individually each of my mother friends has expressed the exact same fear. You're not alone.  We are all afraid and raising a person is scary work but you're doing an amazing job.

3)We are all different.  Some children sleep through the night while some refuse to sleep, some children eat peas while others hate green foods, some children poop in their diapers while others go on the front lawn and take all their clothes off to take a dump.  There is no reasoning to each individual child.  Therefore your parenting will be individualized.  Not one person has walked in your shoes so don't listen for one second to a person who thinks they can raise your little snow flake better than you.  You're doing the best job humanly possible.

And, I know I am childless and you may be sitting there not showered in two weeks thanking the universe for dry shampoo as you eat a sandwich in the shower for one moment of peace and quiet thinking I don't know anything.  You're right.  But what I do know is you're amazing.  You're doing it.  All I see is wonderwoman when I see you.  You're the only one who sees the baby weight and the spit up on your shirt.  Trust me you're the only one concerned about the faults you see in the mirror.  To me you're perfect.  Keep up the good work. 

Dick Pics

Of course it is always when you are happy in your day to day single life and blogging about it that random men will assume you want pictures of their penis.  I truly have no idea why but this is a proven truth.  And, I am not talking about sexting, I mean unsolicited dick pics. (For the record if I have any interest in you or your little friend you would know.  I am full on.  So if I am not texting you on the regular assume no pictures are desired.) Sadly I am unable to stop this ridiculous phenomena but I can offer three steps of advice for women who are on the receiving end of such gems.

1) Don't tolerate it.  And I know we live in a society where women are told not to be dramatic. But, don't we also live in a society where it is illegal to show your dick at a woman in public? When you receive a hammer text stand your ground.  Tell the sender it is totally inappropriate.  Don't insult their "gift" or get personal.  But don't stay silent either!! Let the person know it is offensive and send them on their way.

2) No exchange policy.  Seeing as how we apparently don't live in a society where we exchange goods for other goods, I am not sure why men seem to believe an unsolicited dick pic would warrant anything more than point number one (above).  Fun fact: I actually don't have a picture of my vagina on hold just burning a whole in my cell phone longing to be shared...) Don't share a anything.  Don't be pressured by some creep who thinks you owe him because he made the very poor life choice of sending you an unprovoked nude shot of himself.  Don't think he deserves anything more than a lesson that this kind of sharing is disgusting.

3) Distance yourself.  The heart of the matter is anyone who respects you won't randomly send you a picture of his cock.  Just like most men won't just walk up to you in the park and whip it out as a pick up line.  Men that hammer text you are not your night in shining armor.  And, I know it gets tough.  You met him and you've been friendly.  You start to like him and he sends you a dick pic and asks if you like it.  Stop.  Stop thinking you did something to provoke this.  Unless you asked for a picture in plain English he's at fault, not you.  And, I know you want his attention still because you don't fully understand what a creep he is.  Trust me any guy who throws hammer texts like candy at a parade is no good for you.

Some times I think I will never understand men and then other times I think do I even want to? In conclusion I may start a small public gallery for all those pictures that are piling up in my social media inbox.  Thanks for reading! XO