Lucille Ball
In connection to my previous cheating post I realized something. Self fulfillment is crucial to all aspects of life not just romance. So the following three points are tips on how to love yourself completely:
1) Forgive yourself. Here is the thing we are not perfect. No one is. We have all made mistakes. We have all been a person we are not proud of. We can all think of a moment we would really like to take back. Now, you can wallow in these moments and let them define you, OR you can realize you are more than what you use to be. Every second of every day we are learning and growing. So maybe you use to be late for work everyday and you did a piss poor job but one day you realized that you are fortunate to have a boss who puts up with you. One day you think you will be different. Congratulations. It is NEVER TO LATE TO TRY. But, you have got to forgive yourself. Forgive your past indescretions, your unfaithfullness, your jealousy, your cruel words. Kiss all those negative moments good bye. Realize that every single person around the world has had a bad moment. Every single being breathing would like to take something back and forgive. Forgive what you use to think was fun or good if you realized it actually hurt others. Forgive. Beating yourself up every day over the past is futile. It was Ghandi who so wisely said "Be the change that you wish to see in the world." He was right. Start today, start right now. Or if you are lucky you have already started. Shed your old dead, beaten, broken self and realize that all that shit doesn't matter. We all have baggage and we have bull shit we would LOVE to hold onto because they are EXCUSES to be miserable. Why?? Because not forgiving yourself means you never have to try. Not forgiving yourself means never feeling worth your own love or anyone else's. NOT forgiving yourself means self sabotage. Not forgiving yourself means living in the ever dramatic full of distractions. Let go. Forgive yourself and realize that letting go of your past and looking forward to your future is the right direction to be headed!
.jpg)
"Don't look back, you are not going that direction."
-Unknown
2) Treat people the way you want to be treated. So here is what I blogged about a while ago was having an epiphany to cut back on meaningless interactions with people who never tried to maintain my relationship with them. (Insert confidence boosting applause here!) Why? Because, I am worth it. I am worth not exerting energy into rejection. But, you know what else I realized? I need to stop being a flake. Yes that is right. While I was pooring energy into meaningless transactions I was not really trying with my true friends 100 percent. I would cancel plans or just make empty promises because for some reason I felt this was trying at least. Then I would get the same treatment back and I was fine with this because I was flaky. Until I realized that I want more. I want more from myself. If I am too tired to go for a planned run with a friend than I will ask them to tea instead. I am no longer thinking honesty is enough. It is a key factor as it always is but it is NOT ENOUGH. Actions! And, so I started to put more effort, more compliments, more communications, more attention into the friends of mine who truly deserve it. Because, they have always been good to me. And, you know what? It is working. It is helping ME feel better about ME! Which is very important to confidence and self love. I realized that when I commute that extra hour to see my girlfriend for a tea it feels really good to put effort in. WAY BETTER than bailing and being honest ever did. I realized this after several friends were flaky towards me that their lack of texting back, and telling me reasons for bailing really did feel pretty crap. But, when they made small plans in exchange on the same day that were like negotiations due to time, money, energy, I felt good about their effort. They were making me feel really appreciative of their time. That is when I realized THIS IS HOW I AM MAKING PEOPLE FEEL. From now on treat people the way you want to be treated.
"If you can learn to love yourself and all the flaws, you can love other people so much better. And that makes you so happy."
Kristin Chenoweth
3) Stay true to yourself. This is key in feeling good about yourself! DO NOT LOSE YOURSELF AMONG OTHERS THEY ARE NOT YOU. Stay polite if you can ideally but always, always, always stay true to yourself. Your opinions are going to change because you will be learning constantly from life, I am not saying stay the same. But, stay true to what your head and heart are telling you. For example, if you REALLY do not want to go to a certain event because you do not want to run into a bad past fling there, don't. If you think that violence towards women is something that needs advocating, than do. If you feel like your racist coworker should not voice their opinions by the water cooler, tell them. Always be true to yourself is what I am saying. Do not stifle yourself because you want to fit in, or be 'cool' or whatever you are telling yourself is 'better' than your feelings. Nothing is better than how you feel for you. No one can tell you what to do, but you. You are the best navigator for your life ship. No one else. AND! Listening to social norms, popular beliefs, loved ones, or peer pressure to do things you really are not comfortable doing is TERRIBLE!! Stand up for what you want for you. Stand up for what you think is just. Stand up for what you love. DO NOT let anyone take away from you your right to be complete. You deserve to be the way you are in your entirety. AND if that means that you like to read graphic novels and dress in cape in your spare time because it makes you happy than by all means do it! If this means you love to eat foods others deem strange, eat them. As long as you are not hurting yourself or anyone else than f*ck what anyone thinks about what you like to do. The moment we stop doing what makes us truly happy is the moment we may as well lay down and give up on life. Stay true to your passions, stay true to your loves, stay true to you. Being anyone else won't work.
.jpg)
"Be strong, believe in freedom and... love yourself, understand your sexuality, have a sense of humor, masturbate, don't judge people by their religion, color or sexual habits, love life and your family."
Madonna Ciccone
In the end I would like to leave you with the lesson I learned this past year, stop obsessing over what others will think. You know it took me a long time to realize this did not mean strangers on the street with superficial observations BUT rather what people you care about think. People who actually care about you will only care about one thing and that is your happiness. Everything else is just bullshit. Thanks for reading! XO
No comments:
Post a Comment