“Online dating is now like eating at Denny's thanks to Photoshop, in person your order
looks nothing like the photo on the menu.” - Unknown.
Recently I have been noticing people with their online
dating interests and it is another fascinating social phenomena that I have decided
to explore, if for nothing else this blog.
Basically what intrigues me about online dating is first of all it is
window shopping. You get to pick and
choose whoever you might fancy based on your attraction to their photos. While I feel there is a warning here as Ms. J
once told me about the popular dating site Plenty of Fish (POF) “Take the
ugliest picture of them on there and times it by a million in ugliness and that
is what they actually look like” So! Once you have a very poor concept of them physically
then you will for sure not be disappointed when they turn out not half
bad. In August when I first moved here I
went out with a few men from POF but they were duds, their looks were not half
bad but there were just no spark so after I think it was possibly three dates I
went off of it. But, this week I thought
I would give it a go again (from chatting with my other single POF ladies they
to do this trend of going on, going off, etc.) Which brings me to my second
intrigue about the online world of dating, anonymity. You can be anyone you want to be! Actually COINCIDENTALLY
enough while I was on there I actually saw a picture of a sexy male model that
I had used in my blog, as a profile pic.
It was clearly not the same man in the sequence of photos and the
picture was a professional model so this imposter had stolen said model’s sexy
body and face, along with several other male models. It is a virtual reality where you write your
own character, and if you are satisfied with just an online world you can live
there as whomever you wish to be.
Here are some great statistics to get across the point of
how popular online dating has become:
|
Total
number of single people in the U.S.
|
54
Million
|
|
Total
number of people in the U.S. who have tried online dating
|
40
Million
|
|
Total
eHarmony members
|
20
Million
|
|
Total
Match.com members
|
15
Million
|
|
Number
of questions to fill out on eHarmony survey
|
400
|
|
Annual
revenue from the online dating industry
|
$1.049
Billion
|
|
Average
spent by dating site customer per year
|
$239
|
|
Average
length of courtship for marriages that met online
|
18.5
Months
|
|
Average
length of courtship for marriages that met offline
|
42
Months
|
|
Percent
of users who leave within the first 3 months
|
10 %
|
|
Percent
of male online dating users
|
52.4 %
|
|
Percent
of female online dating users
|
47.6 %
|
|
(Reference
2 below)
|
|
In this fantasy world
you can also ask for things you may never ask for without the cloak of anonymity. For example I had a man ask me for a picture
of my feet. Feet, something I do not
think are pretty or nice to look at, but to someone else they are more erotic
than I will ever understand. So, while
eating some potato chips and watching Netflix I took a picture of my clammy
little foot and sent it. Why not? It is
not anything I would ever be embarrassed of if I saw it posted on the internet,
and trust me I have been asked for A LOT worse by men that claim to respect
me. Here is the thing, once I sent it
there was a very kind thank you, followed by compliments that were NOT of the
sexual nature and an “I would love to rub your feet” YES! I would love for someone to rub my feet
on the regular. That would be amazing. After working ten hour days in tight,
fashionable shoes, do you know what I do? I commute home and soak my feet in my
little soaker foot bath for an hour with Epson salts. I LOVE pedicures. When I told my girlfriends about this online
experience they said they are totally grossed out by foot fetishes. Agree to disagree here ladies.
Another wonderful side to this online dating gig is that
rejection is much easier to take. There
is no awkward humiliating moment when as Jenna Marbles says women say “Ew, go
away” No, no. There is simply a non-response
or if they do respond, who cares? They are some stranger on the internet, you
will never see them. So you chat and
chat and chat and, well you get the point.
And, this has not happened yet for me, but eventually one of you asks
each other out. I know some of you may be thinking it would be so strange to
date a stranger off the internet. Let me
tell you it is STRANGE to date anyways.
Dating is always going to be a bit strange, a bit unfamiliar, and a bit
awkward until you find your bearings it is just the way getting to know someone
works. And, as my dear friend Ms. M
pointed out, “always meet in public places they might be serial killers” I know
Ms. K would have the same endearing advice as she has for everything to be
careful and Ms. A would just laugh and laugh and then tell me to tell her all
about it.
In my week of being on online dating I have come to see that
an interesting aspect of it is that there is actually online chemistry. What I mean is that you can tell within a few
messages if someone gets your sense of humour or have similar interests as
you. In fact you can ask questions and
tell right away so it is almost better than meeting in person. While they can
create any persona they want they can also be as honest as they want. Also, if they are truly looking to meet
someone who you get along with that you have a meaningful connection than you
are not going to pretend to be something that you are not. So, in that sense if you are chatting with
someone on the same level as you, who is looking to meet someone they truly get
along with than they are going to be more sincere than men that are out and
about just looking to hook up. Although
BE WARNED as Marie Claire has expressed EASY SEX is the number 3 reason people
online date. The other four of the five reasons
were 1) they have no time, 2) They think they have no game 3) They are tired of
the meat market 4) They like to categorize their options (Reference 1) . So
please do not be fooled into sex with a random stranger from the interworld as
you may think you have soul connection on line and then give it away too fast
in person, just to get burned.
In my personal life I have not had any dates. Mr. Elevator and I are over completely. And, all over the other situations is a bit
complicated. However, it was through my
excursion online that I realized that I do like several different types of
personalities. Also, reflecting upon my
friends I have realized that I really enjoy the down to earth types who are new
age and into alternative life styles so I am interested in meeting someone who
can understand and not be judgemental about that way of life. But, at the same time I find it very
attractive when a man is successful and wears a business suit and has a similar
career goal like myself so I also need a white collar type man. But, at the same time I realized a lot of my
friends from Small Town Nowhere are a bit red neck, they love the outdoors,
drinking beers, camping, beach fires and four by fouring so I also need a
little bit of that. What is great is
that through online dating I realized the different characters (unfortunately
from all different men) that I want. So,
now what I need to do is prioritize those features. I do NOT want to date four men;
I want to find a man who incorporates most of the above mentioned features
along with my relationship needs. I say
needs because they are more than wants or desires they are what I need to be
happy.
I also realized that
in ending things with Mr. Elevator that I am better than what he had to offer
me. I deserve a man who wants to be with
me full on and yell it from the roof tops even! I had a self-actualization this
week, without men, without dating, without booze that I am worth finding someone
amazing. In fact I realized that I am a
good catch, I have a good job, I am a good person, I work hard, I treat my
family great and my friends, I have a good heart and I put a lot of effort into
my relationships and I deserve someone who gives it their all as well. The sad truth is until about two days ago I
just was not sure I was worth it. I felt
like I was okay at life and not really that great of a catch until this week,
while saying good bye to certain unwanted forces I felt incredibly empowered
and it was amazing! I woke up knowing exactly what I want. I want to date and find that person who
offers me the world, and in return I will be offering them the same thing. What an amazing journey I am about to embark
on with this new clarity! I know exactly the things I want from a man
finally. On a side note there is someone
who is pretty great in the works but this will all be saved for another blog. Until next week my lovely readers say I little
wish for me in my adventure to find this awesome future man. XOXO
RECOGNIZE THIS GUY??
Well apparently he is on POF…..ya right!
References:
Pictures:
Articles:
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