It's Raining Men

It is right when your ego is getting tossed around in the rapids of rejection and you think you are done that you will be thrown smack dab in the middle of a sea of beautiful young men.  Damn life is good.   And, I once again apologize for criticizing anyone in regards to enjoying the company of younger generations, I was wrong and as always before you read on, know that I never assume all men are a like.  In fact, the individuality of the opposite sex is something I love - variety is the spice of life.  But, before I get carried away the following are three wonderful reasons why you should casually date younger men. 

1)  They are so easy going.  Somewhere between twenty and thirty men get weird.   I am not going to say they have issues but they try and put you in categories such as "wife material" or "booty call" (rolling eyes) don't put me in a box and label me up.  Get to know me before you decide what you do and don't want.  Listen to me free of preconceived notions of who you think I should or shouldn't be.  The truth is younger men don't usually have a defined version of their future so they are more open minded and don't slap a label on you in order to pressure or reject you.   For this I thank you, you lovely young lads.

2) Feeling hot, hot, hot.   No offense to my lovely 30 plus friends, you are wonderful friends.   But what I find sexy is a full head of hair and a six pack, (the abs not the beers).  We all have our turn ons.  Some people like soft bodied men but not me.  I love young smooth twenty something skin, cute demeanor and their wrinkle free faces.  Mmmhmm. I love all of it.  And, no.  I never get bored of their naivity because they look so fine.

3) They listen.  Some where along the road men I have dated who are my age stopped listening.  Men my age started assuming they knew what you were thinking and why and they stop having faith in you.   Younger men never, ever do this.   Younger men listen and they hear you.  Younger men ask your opinion.  They are adorable when they say they might learn from your experience.  They flatter you and their pure acceptance that you can change and may know different things from them is the best.

Younger men once again have shown me that dating is fun. That men can be cute, polite and sexy.   That while older men may on paper have their sh#t together,  emotionally they have a lot to learn from their former selves on how to treat women.   Thanks for reading! 

Your Rejection Cuts Me So Low

The R word.  Rejection.  Doesn't it cut like a knife? I know, I know, it is part of trying but let's face it.  It is the sh#ttiest part of trying.  After a series of "miscommunications" and disappointments with the opposite sex I decided this is ridiculous. And, I also am fully aware that I will not be everyone's cup of tea.  But! The following are three brutal patterns I have witnessed for myself and other women that most men appear to do in their rejection routine: 

1) They keep you hanging.  Rather than cut through the sh#t and say "Hey, you're great but you're just not great for me " they leave you with words like "I need to think..." Or even worse they blame you saying that you need time to figure out what you want, etc.  This leaves us with a pathetic glimmer of hope that most women cling on to.   It is so much better than the actualization that he is just not into you.  Wake up.  If he isn't moving mountains to see you then he isn't interested and you need to move on.

2) He says confusing things.  He tells you that you look good in a picture or dress and that he wants to get together but never asks you out and often ignores you.   (Insert dramatic eye roll).  I asked my male friends about this and they told me it is because these men don't really want to date you but they might want to sleep with you.  Fantastic.  Because who doesn't love having no idea how someone feels about you amongst the highs and lows of them ignoring you periodically.   Don't tolerate this kind of sh#t behavior from anyone.  If someone deserves to be in your life they should try just as hard as you constantly.

3) He does thoughtful things which you interpret as affection.  Sigh.  This is the toughest aspect to rejection.  I believe that men do this because they feel badly about not reciprocating your intentions so they want you to not have hurt feelings.  Awe so sweet right? Wrong! The hurt feelings only exist because they led you on because of whatever reason.  Stop letting men lead you on and start living your life not obsessing over men.

After my most recent brush with being ignored by a man I realized f#ck it.  Why should I waste any more time on men who aren't interested.  Life is actually pretty amazing without a man to be honest. No stress, no mess.  Thanks for reading. XO. 

Aloha!

First I apologize for my absence from my post last week.  I was in Hawaii.  But my holiday seriously reset me into a healthy relaxed mind and allowed me to let go of a lot of bullish#t.  Let me share three tips to fully embrace the holiday island life.

1) Disconnect from technology.  After only a few hours I started to feel so much better about myself.  There was no wondering about unanswered friend requests.  There were no jealous moments over other women.  There were no demanding emails.  There was just me, deep breathing, turquoise waves lapping to a rhythm that seemed to sync with the beat of my heart.  With each blink I felt the warmth and acceptance of paradise replace all my worries and it was amazing.

2) Don't judge a book.  I had laughs with a rippled Navy officer, beer with an extraordinary Eastern European woman, fascinating conversation with a widower and so much more because I opened myself up to the possibility of humanity.  We are so stuck in out preconceived notions of others we lose sight that we are all human.   We all deserve a good conversation with a possible new friend regardless of where we are from and where we are going.   Opening your heart will only allows good memories in if you also use your head too. 

3) Let go of your inhibition and just go with it.   Makeup and dresses are fun for a night out but I mainly lived in my cheese tourist hat and loved it.   I wore runners and a dress and ate cheese until I was bloated and who cares? We try our entire life to fit into the Prada designed box of life and for what? I say let your hair down, let it get wet in the salty water and dried with sand and go out dancing because true beautiful moments in life are fleeting and we are wasting too many on trying to fit in.  You were born to stand out. 

We are all searching for those perfect moments and I promise if you go to Hawaii you will find them.  But, you will also find that you and all those around you have so much awesome within. Thanks for reading. XO.