Control Freaks Explained

No work or love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.

Alan Watts

So I have often struggled with my need to have a plan.  This is frequently construed as being a control freak.   I understand this point of view completely.  However, I would like to say in defense of all control freaks out there that having a plan does not mean that we have to be in control of all things relative.  Let me explain, the plan just needs to exist so that we have a sense of direction.  The plan can be made by anyone, it can change and it can have a ton of wiggle room but the plan must exist for us to be comfortable.  The following are three reasons why:

First comes thought; then organization of that thought, into ideas and plans; then transformation of those plans into reality. The beginning, as you will observe, is in your imagination.

Napoleon Hill

1)    Anxiety.  Typically people I have come across in my life (and there are ALOT of us out there) that need to have plans, and I mean plans varying from lunch that day to five year here, have a level of anxiety.  Having a plan makes them feel comforted.  It is not so much that we think we can control the unknown, not at all, it is just that we feel much less stress if that unknown has a little navigation to it.  Not everyone likes surprises and not everyone likes to have a plan.  This in no way does not mean that we do not like to try new things and are not flexible! It just means that the majority of time we like to have any idea of what is to come in our lives.

Plans are nothing; planning is everything.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

2)    Be prepared.  Yes I was a Girl Guide my whole life, my mother was actually the Brown Owl leader so it is not wonder I want to be prepared.  But, let’s get down to the nitty gritty root of my intense desire to be prepared: my childhood.  I grew up in a house where everyone was late.  True story my dad use to say he would pick me up from my girlfriend’s place after school.  I would wait all day there.  Their families would joke around that if I came over at 3 I would be staying for dinner, which always turned out to be true.  He would often pick me up around 8.  I attributed this tardiness as not being prepared.  Therefore, in order to not be late, tardy and appear to forget very important people I like to make plans.

Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes... but no plans.

Peter Drucker

3)    Helpful.  This is the hardest things for non-planners to understand.  By  making a plan for you we are not actually trying to control you, we think we are helping you.  Here is how my brain works, you want to try a new restaurant sometime with me.  Great! I am so excited! I research new restaurants, I compile weblinks of the top rated four and send them to you with the times they allow reservations and the days they are closed to find out what day works for you.  I completely understand how this comes across as controlling the situation, but I promise this action is not made under this guise.  It is actually that, beyond the satisfying pleasure planning brings me, I feel that making little plans for others helps them.  It helps them save time finding information, it helps them in giving them options, it in general seems to be helpful.  This is why I offer mini plans all the time to everyone.

In preparing for battle I have always found that plans are useless, but planning is indispensable.

Dwight D. Eisenhower

It is unfortunate that people see planners as frigid control freaks that worry to much.  I am a planner and I have to say that I am the opposite of this.  Having plans (that can change!) are a way that we understand the world.  Planners are thoughtful I promise and it is not that they want to control you in anyway, it is actually that they really want to spend time with you and therefore like to create a plan for this actuality.  I hope that this gives some insight into people that like to plan and perhaps helps break the image of us all being controlling, if you want to make a planner really happy make a plan to hang out with them and tell them your plan.  They will appreciate your effort so much I guarantee.  Thanks for reading!