I bit off more than I can chew with the topic for this week and I am not done developing it. My apologies!! But, in order to keep a post up for this week I have decided to write a quick and hopefully funny post about how the cat would view our home.
“Oh, you can't help that,' said the cat. 'We're all mad here.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
Enjoy the following:
Cat Dialogue:
"It is the fifth lunar eclipse since I have been trapped by my tall, hairless captors. I will celebrate the turning of time by dashing across the house all night as my people do to celebrate astrological occurrences. My captors will no doubt join me, as they typically do, yelling and spraying water from the small pink bottle which they often use to celebrate my customs. While this will be a joyous and strange occurrence it will not distract me from the the hierarchy of this strange place, and will depart my knowledge now to you:
"The proper order of things is often a mystery to me. You, too?"
― Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland
1) Unfortunately, it appears that I am at the bottom of the society here in the land of apartment 402. I am sure of this as I have been locked out of the room with the window over looking the park. While the rest of my society congregates in this room when the sun sets I am not allowed in this room for these occasions. I will continue to protest by knocking items off the kitchen counter throughout the night and meowing at sunrise at the door until I am met by negotiations in the form of what I have come to learn is 'wet food.' I am further aware of my low status as I have been given only dead mice to play with. In truth, they are not even real dead mice but cloth toys! IMAGINE! a cat with no mice. I continue to make my acknowledgement of this disrespect known by pooping immediately after my litter box has been cleaned and kicking litter as far as the eye can see.
"Meow, baby."
-Cheshire Cat (1985 TV Alice and Wonderland)
2) The middle class or next level of society in the land of 402 would be the gate keepers. My captors come in a matching female and male pair, I have come to learn most gatekeepers come in pairs of two, I have concluded this gives them strength in numbers, they are clever captors. My captors seem to approach all life things with a good cop/ bad cop attitude, fortunately I have watched many TV crime dramas and have learned this is the custom to breaking prisoners. (On a side note: You may also want to watch these programs they have taught me many of my captors weaknesses, and, most importantly, that the cat is never a suspect.) My female captor is the good cop and my male captor appears to be the bad cop. While their methods of outnumbering me are successful they will often use other tactics to distract my escape attempts such as delicious candy which they lure me into by shaking a small bag. There is something which pulls me to this bag that I have accredited to witch craft, these thoughts are furthered by their use of a small red glowing dot which has powers of invisibility which they taunt me with daily. But, they do not stop there! These captors are not above subduing me with a terribly addictive drug which I have come to crave as nip.
“And how do you know that you're mad? "To begin with," said the Cat, "a dog's not mad. You grant that?" I suppose so, said Alice. "Well then," the Cat went on, "you see a dog growls when it's angry, and wags it's tail when it's pleased. Now I growl when I'm pleased, and wag my tail when I'm angry. Therefore I'm mad.”
― Lewis Carroll, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland & Through the Looking-Glass
3) My captors appear to worship another creature in our land which I have come to know as dog. Dog has mind control powers and appears to be able to talk to the humans. He controls them not only into give him treats for performing simple tasks, such as sitting or laying down. He often shows off his powers of mind control as he makes the captors let him in and then out, and then in and then out, and then in and then out, the forbidden door. Dog does not run away when let out, but who would when they have two servants to they control. Further, my captors appear to go to a place they call 'work' which I have deduced they do for dog. More often than not my captors have spoken of the things that they must pay for to have dog. Dog on the other hand sleeps most of the day and does not work, thus he is the top of this hierarchy. They are so dedicated to dog they hire replacement servants when they have gone away, unfortunately, these replacements double as my captors, there is no relief. I have seen my captors follow dog constantly in the unknown space through the forbidden door, doting on him and yet never walking with him, always a few steps behind chained to him, thus I conclude that dog is their master. If this behavior was not enough Dog has two beds, one enormous bed which he appears share generously with the captors in the room I am forbidden from, and one normal bed he takes daily naps in, TWO beds, the luxury, imagine. While in conversations with dog he came off as highly not intellectual this must be his cover to maintain the hierarchy."
Sorry again for not having my usual post. Hope you enjoyed this one!! Till next week! XO
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