Being a Crazy Cat/Dog Lady Ain't That Bad

“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”
― Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever

 

 

It has come to my attention that I am strange dog person. The type of person who sleeps with their dog cuddled up to them, puts a rain slicker on him when it rains and talks to him about all things dog related, not to mention the other outfits I put on him from time to time. Truth be told I am some what obsessed with this dog, I do miss him when I travel, and get excited to come home to him every night after work. In essence he has emotionally filled the need for human interaction. So why is it that there are so many negative connotations for “crazy cat ladies” or “weird dog people” so much so that we often find solace in one another as non-animal owners just do not seem to understand? “At least in the Anglosphere, single women who own cats have long been associated with the concept of spinsterhood. In more recent decades, the concept of a cat lady has been associated with "romance-challenged (often career-oriented) women who can't find a man". (1) This is a very negative impression of some pretty incredible single women I would have to say, as a lot of my friends own cats, they also have great careers. First I would like to address the modern spin on the above quote women who are often career oriented have pets. Pets are easy to care for, they love you unconditionally even if you work long hours at the office. They are always excited to see you, they do not complain when you have to reschedule dinner plans and they are very affectionate. The negative connotation of the cat lady is not valid in this regard, women who have demanding careers and busy lives own cats because they are the easiest form of affection for their fast paced life style.

However, it is essential that you understand I am speaking of women who have one to two cats or dogs, or whatever animal makes you happy that you are able to care for. Once these numbers start to increase expotentially and you become a cat hoarder that is a whole new situation: “It has been suggested that cat-hoarding behavior may be due to infection with Toxoplasmosis gondii, a mind-altering parasite of which both cats and humans—among other animals—are hosts. Rats infected with T. gondii have been demonstrated in controlled experiments to seek out the presence of cats, thus to be eaten and resulting in transferral of the parasite to the cat host.^[7] It is entirely plausible, therefore, that individuals infected with T. gondii may be influenced by the parasite into hoarding more infective vectors (cats). It has even been suggested that certain sociopathic behaviors may be caused or at least influenced by this organism.”(2) Frightening.

 

Beyond the fact that you may actually be certifiable if you are hoarding cats it is illegal in most districts to own more than four house cats. Read your bylaws before you start collecting cats up to sociopath level. This type of crazy cat lady is actually diagnosed so this blog is not examining the phsychological disorders of cat collecting, instead, I would like to take a moment and discuss the rewards of having a healthy relationship with your one or two cats or dogs, (or ferrets, or birds, or horse, or porcupine, etc.) So that the negative image of cat and dog people may be refreshed with a more positive spin.

Here are three reasons having animals in your life are positive:

1) They reduce stress. In many universities across Canada I have been reading about puppy therapy. They bring puppies to the campus during exam time and allow the students to play with them to help the students relax and be happy. “Could a kitten's purr or a dog's wagging tail help with your depression? ...’Pets offer an unconditional love that can be very helpful to people with depression," says Ian Cook, MD, a psychiatrist and director of the Depression Research and Clinic Program at UCLA. Studies show that animals can reduce tension and improve mood. Along with treatment, pets can help some people with mild to moderate depression feel better. If you're depressed, here's a rundown of how pets could help.” (3) Pets make you happy! And who does not like to be happy. I can personally admit that I have been in a very grumpy mood before, come home to Hizo and been gapped out into thoughts and stress only to just look at him and laugh. He will be excitedly starring at me in aniticpation for attention, his face even appears to be smiling. He does not have any worries, it makes me literally laugh out loud and be happy that no matter what is happening in life there are not only better times ahead but there are good times mixed in with the bad. Pets are antidepressants in themselves and therefore you can not help but love them. “Better health. Research has found that owning a dog can lower blood pressure, reduce stress hormones, and boost levels of feel-good chemicals in the brain. One study of Chinese women found that dog owners exercised more often, slept better, reported better fitness levels and fewer sick days, and saw their doctors less often than people without dogs.” (4) Animals are good for you, just like vitamins. 

 

2) Activity and Responsibilty: Pets create both of these, while most people do not walk their cats, dog people do. Getting out and being active is essential to both health, emotional state and socialization. Everytime I walk Hizo down the the street people chat and pet him, and most often laugh at him. All of these are amazing positive reactions and they allow me to laugh and interact with other people and other dogs, this instantly refreshes any mood I may be in to happy as well as creates networking. Beyond the physical demands of owning a pet it is also essential you feed and water your dog (this is also a bylaw to have clean water and food available for your pet at all times, again before owning a pet you should read the bylaws in your area as they come with some pretty steep fines) Pets add responsibility to your life that make you make the right life decisions. For example sometimes when I am out I start to think I should just stay out all night and go to a different club and it really does not matter if I crash at a friends place. But, then I remember Hizo waiting for me at home and I get my ass home. He does not have a night club to go to or friends to dance with, he really only has me. He also saves me from staying out too long and over drinking, making bad life choices with the wrong men, the walk of hungover shame the following day in the day light, and many other atrocities that are unpleasant. By focusing on heading home before the morning light to make sure I can cuddle up with my dog, let him out to go the bathroom and feed him has kept me on track more often than not and for that I am thankful. In regards to children it is also suggested pets teach them not only responsibility but also aid in the development of empathy. This type of responsibility also is therapeutic for individuals suffering from depression as it greatly motivates them and gives them more purpose. So while I may see Hizo as my check and balance, the activity and responsibility of owning a dog or any pet has many benefits.

 

3) Uncomplicated love. You probably saw this one coming. “Uncomplicated love. Are your relationships with family and loved ones complicated and frayed? A pet can be a great antidote. "With a pet, you can just feel," says Teri Wright, PhD, a psychologist in private practice in Santa Ana, Calif. "You don't have to worry about hurting your pet's feelings or getting advice you don't want." (5) Or in my case my relationships are great, I just really appreciate the uncomplicated love of all animals. There are no fights, no harsh words, no worries about relationship issues just unconditional love. In fact you can get angry and say something not nice to your dog, which you will regret later, and he will never bring it up again. While is it suggested that cats will get revenge, who really knows what an animal thinks. Therefore animals will never throw an unpleasant comment back in your face. Furthermore, Hizo runs around the house like mad and barks in excitement everytime he sees me (he also has terrible separation anxiety and cries outside the door when I go to the bathroom which is not as endearing). No human being is ever going to run around the house in circles for twenty minutes cheering for your arrival and then jump all over you to express their happiness you are home (except for small children, but they do not do this all the time and they eventually grow out of it). Dogs show their love all the time and this is a very rewarding interaction. However, it is important to recognize a school of thought that expresses the opposite. Some evolutionary theorists suggest that we have bred dogs with the cutest faces and best personality triats, but in doing so we may have created little manipulative monsters. It is suggested that the ‘traits’ we see as good may actually be a facade that over years and years of breeding we have enabled dogs to become masters of manipulating us: “Evolutionary psychologist John Archer, of University of Central Lancashire in England, was the first to offer a solution to this Darwinian puzzle. He recognized that the time, effort, and resources that humans spend on dogs are barking mad, from an evolutionary perspective. He argued that pets (particularly dogs and cats) could be thought of as "social parasites" that manipulate human responses. That is, dogs have tapped into the parts of our brain associated with parenting behavior. Forget shaking, sitting, and rolling over; dogs' greatest trick is their ability to parasitize our parenting psychology.” (6) This theory I think is fascinating, while it does make one view their dog differently from time to time.

 

Owning pets is a symbiotic relationship if you treat your pet well. Therefore I say cast off the chains of the crazy cat lady or weird dog person and accept that having a pet is actually enriching your exhistence.

In my personal life I would say I had an epic fail in my hiatus as last Saturday I met three men in a matter of a few hours. I left with Ms. J and Mr. D and went home happily alone with my good friends self respect and dignity but I have seen all three of these men this week very casually. I am once again in a questioning period of my dating life, totally on the fence, I could very easily be happy alone working and living a great city with amazing friends. Happiness is not found in someone else. But, on the other hand I am missing the little things, the making meals together, the small talk, the things that come over time getting to know someone. So, at this point in time only time will tell what happens. For future reference I will call these suitors Mr. A, Mr. B, and Mr. C each one is completely different. Mr. A is a tall, dark skinned, manual labour worker who somehow has red hair which is unique. He is very good looking, but not a good listener and spent three days at the track this week so things are not looking so good for him in the pool of prospects, except he is extremely funny and unique. So on Sunday we had drinks before I met my lovely married friend for dinner. Mr. B (is my favorite prospect so far) he is honest, also funny, also tall, great smile (you know that is my weakness from previous writings) hard working, moral, but does not seem to have a lot of time to get together which is of course the best part of getting to know someone, I am also on the fence on his ability to communicate. Mr. B and I have had two casual dates both during his lunch break. Which brings us to Mr. C who is very optimistic and pure, he reminds me of a good friend of mine. He is also tall, blond hair, nice smile and Dutch so the accent is also endearing. Mr. C and I went for a walk Sunday before I met up with Mr. A. Does this seem like a recipe for disaster because there are too many ingredients in the mix? No, this is dating. Dating actually involves dating more than one guy at a time to make sure that you are making the right choice. Also, in my personal life I heard that Mr. X and Mrs. X have a big announcement, which of course triggers the regular emotions one feels when their X factor has big news with the woman he left you for. But, you realize this life is far better than any of your lives in any other cities before. It is not so much the cliché of my situation but the reminder that societal norms suggest that being 31 and single is frowned upon. In particular by certain people of the past who believe all life is about is to put a ring on it and procreate. It is the hard revelation that I most likely am being judged for doing what makes me happy, so I just have to focus on that: IT MAKES ME HAPPY. That is really all that matters in the end of the day anyways. Thanks for reading! XO

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cat_lady

http://www.webmd.com/depression/features/pets-depression

http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/natural-history-the-modern-mind/200904/the-most-manipulative-species