TAKE A VACATION

“Every person needs to take one day away.  A day in which one consciously separates the past from the future.  Jobs, family, employers, and friends can exist one day without any one of us, and if our egos permit us to confess, they could exist eternally in our absence.  Each person deserves a day away in which no problems are confronted, no solutions searched for.  Each of us needs to withdraw from the cares which will not withdraw from us.” 
― Maya Angelou, Wouldn't Take Nothing for My Journey Now

                                                           
I can give you a million reasons why vacations are amazing.  But, this is a relationship blog not an everything blog.  Here is what I want to tell you.  You owe it to your relationship to yourself, your new friends you will meet, your relationship with new family to explore new places, to completely unwind and to travel.  But, here are three reasons why in your relationship travelling is a make or break scenario.  It reveals so much of your true relationship status and the real nature of the person you are dating.

“No man needs a vacation so much as the man who has just had one.” 
― Elbert Hubbard

1) STRESS!! You will find out if you are the kind of couple who gets lost on windy roads all day only to end up back at your start point and laugh and fog up the back windows...or the opposite.  Travelling will test your limits, it takes you way out of your comfort zone, it takes you far from your routine, it presses you financially and distorts your regular sleep pattern.  All of these things create mental fatigue and increase irritation.  A vacation will expose to you whether or not you are dating the person who can handle you at your most intense moments and say "Okay, stress is stress but this vacation is still awesome because I have you...." or will run to the hills and hope you will have left back home when they return.  I actually know a few ladies who have full on left their significant others while travelling.  They packed up and said "Nope, this is not for me."  In fact I know of a few who did it after and may even be plotting to do it right now.  The truth is travel literally and figuratively takes us places, and if your relationship is strong and meant to be than you will survive the journey I promise!

“When all else fails, take a vacation.” 
― Betty Williams

2) UNPLUG.  On my most recent trip to the sunny desert with The American which I just returned from yesterday, I did something for both myself and for him.  I did not communicate via text or computer.  I unplugged myself.  No alarms, no phones, no nothing and it was....INCREDIBLE!! Not only was I fully engaged with everyone I was around, but I felt a new level of relaxation that I had denied myself for far too long.  Telecommunications is actually grounds for a lot of relationship stress, between women tell me they check their man's phone to complaining about her facebook addiction.  Telecommunications take away from the very core of our relationships which is face to face full on interactions.  Do you know my biggest pet peeve?  People who text while out for dinner.  Seriously??? You are saying that the person you are with is not even worth an hour of your time.  AND! I have heard every excuse as to why people just MUST be glued to their phones 24 hours a day, but do you know what else??  Do you know that before cell phones there was life?  AND it was good?  AND people just phoned one another after they went out and did things?  UNPLUG yourself from technology and plug yourself in to those you love.  I guarantee the outcome
is worth it.

“When people went on vacation, they shed their home skins, thought they could be a new person.” 
― Aimee Friedman, Sea Change

3) EXPERIENCE.  Nothing in this world will prepare you for your life more than experiencing life itself and travelling is an integral part of this growth.  One cannot simply not like a food, place, or person they have never tried to get to know.  The desert is an AMAZING place!! and so is the beach, and so are the mountains, etc.  The truth is this world is full of incredible journeys that are waiting for you.  I DO NOT even want to hear "But..."  that is just an excuse.  It is an excuse you have become comfortable with that keeps you from doing things you want and that is just ridiculous.  There is no stopping me from what I can achieve, nor is there anything stopping you.  You may think finances...well then figure out a budget to allow you to have finances, timing may be your excuse...I don't even know what this means, there is never going to be a perfect time to go out and try living life.  I can tell you my personal experience.  I changed job titles to a larger firm and I never thought "But..."  I just did it.  I went for The American and I never thought "But.." and I have never felt more in the right relationship in my life.  I went for a vacation to the desert and never thought "But..."  and it was the BEST VACATION EVER!!! Denying yourself life experience is the worst thing you can do to yourself, AND to your relationship!!! Share amazing experiences, share life, don't deny yourself the incredible journeys that could make your relationship extraordinary.

“It was exciting to be off on a journey she had looked forward to for months. Oddly, the billowing diesel fumes of the airport did not smell like suffocating effluence, it assumed a peculiar pungent scent that morning, like the beginning of a new adventure, if an adventure could exude a fragrance.” 
― E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly

Vacations are the best medicine.  Tomorrow The American and I head off to meet my parents, grandmother, and sister is Small Town Nowhere.  It is beautiful and full of beaches, and while I have seen it a million times it will be so exciting to show someone new!  The American and I had a great vacation, and as always it did not feel long enough, there was some stress (for some reason I could not sleep past 6 am the whole week!! My internal clock kept kicking in and would not let me rest), but overall I was in awe of his beautiful, kind, and giving family and the incredible beauty (and heat) of the desert!!
Thanks for reading, now....get out of here and take a vacation! XOXO