We do what we want and that is okay.

My apologies for missing last week's post.  I originally thought I would have time to blog but on my ten day vacation across British Columbia and Alberta I ran out of time.  However, while I cruised from place to place I realized how lucky I was to have so many amazing friends and family who stopped and gave me time, and for those of you who did not, I realized this.  We are all doing what we want, and that is OKAY.  I am not upset or angry at people that cancelled plans or did not show because the truth is we are all living the lives we create.  Sadly not all of us realize this but that is also okay.  I find it interesting when people give me excuses for their absences, because the truth of the matter is if you 100 percent want to do something, you do it.  There is no other truth, unless it is a family tragedy then by all means your reasoning is justified.  The following are three reasons why I believe the above statement:

1) We do what we want.  I see so many people going for dinner, lunches, trips and what they want every day, which is perfect.  However, they have one million excuses for not meeting up for a quick cup of coffee.  This means that coffee is not what they want to do.  It means that coffee is low on the list of priorities.  And, don't worry I do the same thing.  I met a woman on NYE and she was very sweet but we did not have much in common.  I found it challenging to be her friend so when she asked me for coffee I kept rain checking her until she no longer texted.  Why?  Because I was doing what I wanted.  I was going for dinner with my priority friends and doing my daily activities I preferred doing.  It is no one's fault.  I was living, and still am, living the life I wanted and have no regrets.  The truth is you are not going to like everyone and friendships grow.

2) Alternatives.  You know what I loved about this trip. Seeing so many people's homes and children!  While it was also lovely for my friends to have some adult time over lunch too, I really enjoyed going to their beautiful homes and seeing their lives.  I mostly enjoyed when I asked them to meet up that they suggested popping by after nap time as an alternative!  I love when my mom friends accept my childless life and integrate me into theirs with open arms.  The fact that they offered an alternative mode of meeting up rather than dinner out made  me realize that they did truly want to catch up and offered what works for them.  We grow with each friendship and we learn so much!  Every Sunday I drive to Ms. M's place and visit her and her twins because I would not want to spend my Sunday any other way.  The fact that she invites me into her home and offers this alternative that works for both of us makes me realize how much she appreciates my time and wants it.  If you actually want to see someone you will offer what works for you and make it happen, alternatives are part of making things work.

3) It is okay.  I think too many people kbelieve that doing what you want rather than what other's want is a bad thing and it is not.  If you want to go home and eat pizza with your dog then do it.  If you want to go home and watch your children sleep peacefully then do it.  Whatever you want to do, do it.  Life is way to short to be worried about what others are thinking and wanting of you.  You owe no one anything.  We have such a strange view of life that we OWE our friend explanations and hours of our life.  Your life is yours.  Do what makes you happy and what you love.  Too many thoughts are wasted on how to make excuses and how to avoid things, just be honest.  In the above referenced NYE story I was honest with the woman when she asked me to get together I told her what I was doing and that maybe next week we could figure out something.  It was never a lie, it was never an excuse.  I have nothing to lie about.  There is no shame in doing what you want.  Selfish is a word made up by manipulators to make you do what they want.

I do what I want and I expect nothing less from all of you!  And, do it with pride.  This is of course as long as it is not hateful or hurtful to others.  But, if you want to skip your friend's birthday because you don't feel comfortable in crowds explain to them and offer an alternative, if they are your real friend they will understand.  Not wanting to do the same things as others is totally fine, but not offering an alternative and putting in effort also speaks miles.  Thanks for reading!!