I F#cked Up

Of course it was through truly empathizing with Mr. Big and The Maverick (names to be explained another day) that I questioned why women acted so cruel.  Sadly I realized that I was a woman and had definitely broken men's egos in the past.  It made me realize the following detrimental points and hopefully made me grow as a person.

1) Rather than respect that the men I loved were perfect for someone else, and walk away, I wanted to fit them in my heart shaped box.  I wanted them to be the person I wanted.  I wanted them to love me so much that they would be a different person.  What an a$$hole I was.  And, more importantly a fool.  I broke men so much they left or I left them, and for what?  Things could have ended so much more simply. 

2) I didn't know how happy our differences could make us.  Rather than accept that they were one way and I was another, and celebrate, I wanted to control things.  So much happiness and appreciation was lost.  I could not understand that it was possible to love someone in their singular entirety and this made me lose good men who I hope are being appreciated by someone nothing like who I use to be.  Accepting and complementing goes so far in creating an amazing foundation for the future.

3) I wanted everything picture perfect.  I wanted the Christmas card and the facebook status.  I wanted the vacations and for life to be just perfect and I didn't realize the pressure that put on my man.  I never thought that my demands stressed him out and made him feel inadequate.  I never thought my goals would weigh on him.  To make goals together and build each other up to them was what I should have been open to.

And, we all want to be loved. Even the most dashing bachelors want to be loved. It is beyond love though, it is truly being loved for who you are.  Not who you could be or want to be.  But, to fully be loved for just you.  That is what we all forget to try to do sometimes. XO