― Eleanor Roosevelt, This is My Story
So I have had a lot of time dating and researching the topic to decide that confidence is the key to both racking up your dance card with singles who want to take you dancing, and for a healthy relationship. The truth is that while all people come in all shapes and sizes, with a multitude of preferences, at the end of the day confidence will get you remembered, confidence will land you the job, confidence will separate you from the other competitors, confidence is the personality trait you should feed. The following are three reasons why confidence is such a sexy little aphrodisiac.
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch
― Bernard M. Baruch
1) You are not needy. A sad down hill struggle forms when we lose our confidence. We look for it in others. We become a not-so-hot-mess of co-dependence who requires constant validation. SNAP OUT OF IT WOMAN! The truth is you do not NEED anyone to be happy, fabulous, fantastic you. When you are confident you do not need vaildation because you know your own worth. You know your time is valuable. You know that when you call someone, and they don't answer you have way better things to do than turn into a needy person and call and text twenty more times. Why? Because you value yourself, your time, your effort. AND! The most important thing is that you pity any fool who doesn't recognize how awesome you are. Don't waste your time searching for your confidence in the validation of others, you will never find it there (trust me I have tried). Find your confidence in you and rock it!
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt, You Learn by Living: Eleven Keys for a More Fulfilling Life
2) You are 100 % you. Confident people do not conform. Confident people are not affraid to say no thank you or YES PLEASE! Confident people find their passions in life and do not bat an eye when someone tries to rain on thier parade. Confident people face the storm and enjoy life. Confident people are a lucky bunch! They have the capability to realize that only insecure people bring others down and therefore they are not affraid to try hilarious new things such as attempting prancercising, or dance walking just for fun, confident people MOST importantly do not suffer with ill gotten company. Over the years I have realized that there are many kinds of people in this world, some people will tear you down in a heart beat, while others will bring you up instantly. Surround yourself with gold. I see so many people trudging through life in relationships with men that treat them like sh*t because they are not confident enough to stand up and say "NOT TODAY. Today I want more for myself." Grab life by the horns and ride that bull, we are not getting any younger.
“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
― Mahatma Gandhi
3) Confident people face their consequences. You know what is SO retroactive? Passing the buck. UGH!! There is nothing that is more stagnant and that I despise more than when someone tries to pawn off their actions on someone else. Confident people say "Opps, I f*cked up, I am very sorry, here is how to fix it" THE END. I have talked this little scenario to death but here goes one last time. You absolutely cannot have a productive healthy realationship when you play the blame game. Classic example: You did (insert sh*t thing here) so I did (sh*t thing here) to show you...." NO, no, no-no, NO. This is tragic. This is never ending cycle of "getting even" and hurting one another until the cows come home because neither of you is confident enough to say "You know what, I hear you, I made a mistake." You will never ever succeed in life if you are a buck passer. Your coworkers will hate you, your lover will see you as a burden and a source of stress, your family will wish you would just grow the f*ck up. My best advice to you is grow a pair. Realize in life we make mistakes, we sometimes have less than admirable intentions, we all f*ck up, own it, move on and feel better about yourself already.
“Accept who you are; and revel in it.”
― Mitch Albom, Tuesdays with Morrie
CONFIDENCE is most liberating and freeing feeling you can adapt. It comes from with in but is fostered through success, love, friends, and so much more. Find as many outlets that make you feel fantastic and stay true to those. Cut the fat of your clogged depressed arteries and find the things and people in your life that help your heart skip a beat. The longer you stay wallowing with confidence issues the longer you are actually manifesting negative outcomes on your life that in all accounts should be incredible. Thanks for reading! XOXO
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