I forgot my cardinal rule "Don't look back, you're not going that way" and tried to reignite the dead flame of The Boxer. But you can't get fire from cold ashes. I wanted him to be my distraction, maybe even my salvation, from The Pilot's rejection but that just isn't the way of the dating world. The following are three reasons you should never try to back track:
1) Issues. As much as people try to work on their issues they are still there. Just like my bad knee. 95 percent of the time it feels great but on a cold day or after too much exercise the pain seeps back in. You can never end something and then go back. The damage is done. The issues are there. Permanent in stone. If they were issues enough to walk away from the relationship it is best to move on.
2) Bye-bye love, bye-bye happiness. Once the negativity of a break up consumes the relationship it affects all aspects of what use to be happiness and sucks the joy out of what use to be. I thought I could apologize and repair the damage with The Boxer but I had injured our connection and there was no going back to the fun flirtation we once had. The easy fun emotions are replaced with guilt, frustration, anger, etc.
3) The worst in you. Breakups not only bring out the ugly emotions they bring out our worst side. Rather than accept that things didn't play out you begin to think what can you change? What can you exchange of yourself or your personality? What can you do...this mentality is so desperate and dangerous. We lose ourselves, our identity and our power when we negotiate pieces of us ourselves to be with someone.
Fortunately it is always better to be single than with the wrong person so life carries on as it always does. Thanks for reading. XO
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