What the Ex?

It is right when you are happily not thinking of your exes that one will fly up in your f#cking face by moving to your city with his new woman after not so gracefully leaving the country and leaving you broken hearted.  And, you and The American are supposedly friends but you find out a month later via facebook...cuts like a knife.  And, not because you long to have his gross bearded face in your life but the insinuation of his hiding this makes you feel like he was quite literally hiding from you.   The following are three reasons we should be honest and straight forward rather than fake care:

1) Assumptions are total bullsh#t! Listen up men. All women I know are hurt the most when you tell them you lied to them or did something you knew they wouldn't like and then blame them.  You use the excuse that you lied or hid the truth because of a reaction they might have had.  Example: I didn't tell you because I knew you would over react.   This hurts.  And, it hurts deep because it suggests that you think we are some kind of raving lunachick set on kill.  This realization makes us feel like you view us in a negative way which makes us feel less valued and less lovable.  It makes us realize you no longer view us as the goddess you once did and you have undesirable thoughts about us and this makes us insecure.

2) Why are you making drama? The truth of the matter is 99.9 percent of all fights, insecurity and lunachicking could be avoided with a little finesse and honesty.  Rather than secretly texting women friends (which unless you had a lobotomy you know is going to cause problems) try talking to your girlfriend.  Explain what is going on.  I know that finding secret female "friends" all over your man's sh#t makes your blood boil, but not for the reasons they assume! For the reason they lied.  They hid their friendships making them appear as dirty little secrets.  Things only escalate when they blame thier ridiculous immature actions on you.  Before you create a world of secrecy try talking to your woman and explaining who you are, what you want and that you have other woman in your life and most importantly who they are in relation to everything. Honesty is the answer.

3) Calm down ladies.  Yes this last point is a doozy but seriously if you are screaming at your man like a bat out if hell he will keep secrets from you.  Sadly if you have a man who does this than the actuality is that he probably dated a banshee and is afraid you will do the same thing.  Hash these issues out.  To tell you the truth I can be crazy jealous because my men are gold and I do think other women want them.  But, I would much rather be with a man who from the get go tells you how and who he is and trusts you to accept all of him and his friends regardless of gender.  Than with some ignoramus who cannot understand that you can comprehend, trust and most importantly change.

With the presence of The American back in my country and city came old thoughts but mainly just reminded me of how he could be such a p#ssy.   A little heads up before moving back would have been courteous but then again one should never give too much credit to their exes.  Thanks for reading. XO